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I have not professionally dealt in truth. Many when they come to die have spent all the truth that was in them, and enter the next world as paupers. I have saved up enough to make an astonishment there.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Truth
Astonishment
Come
Dealt
Enough
Enter
Many
Saved
Make
Spent
World
Dies
Funny
Paupers
Next
Professionally

More quotes by Mark Twain

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Thanksgiving Day - Let all give humble, hearty, and sincere thanks, now, but the turkeys. In the island of Fiji they do not use turkeys, they use plumbers. It does not become you and me to sneer at Fiji.
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Obscurity and a competence—that is the life that is best worth living.
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There was never yet an uninteresting life. Such a thing is an impossibility. Inside of the dullest exterior there is a drama, a comedy, and a tragedy.
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Never be haughty to the humble, never be humble to the haughty.
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Let your joy be unconfined!
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The machine has several virtues... One may lean back in his chair and work it. It piles an awful stack of words on one page. It don't muss things or scatter ink blots around.
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We have an insanity plea that would have saved Cain.
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There has never been a Protestant boy nor a Protestant girl whose mind the Bible has not soiled.
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In my schoolboy days I had no aversion to slavery. I was not aware there was anything wrong about it. No-one arraigned it in my hearing the local papers said nothing against it the local pulpit taught us that God approved it, that it was a holy thing, and that the doubter need only look in the Bible if he wished to settle his mind.
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Never argue with people who buy ink by the gallon.
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The Book of Mormon is chloroform in print
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These are the true and only God, mighty and supreme.
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A big leather-bound volume makes an ideal razorstrap. A thing book is useful to stick under a table with a broken caster to steady it. A large, flat atlas can be used to cover a window with a broken pane. And a thick, old-fashioned heavy book with a clasp is the finest thing in the world to throw at a noisy cat.
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I'm the only person who has ever found the right way to build an autobiography.
Mark Twain
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Never waste a lie you never know when you may need it.
Mark Twain
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I don't speak German well but several experts have assured me that I write it like an angel. Maybe so, maybe so- I don't know. I've not yet made any acquaintances among the angels. That comes later, whenever it please the Deity. I'm not in any hurry.
Mark Twain
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It must be well-nigh a maximum of sense to behave so that one escapes being hanged.
Mark Twain
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I suppose, just as an honest man in politics shines more than he would elsewhere.
Mark Twain
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Heroine: Girl in a book who is saved from drowning by a hero and marries him next week, but if it was to be over again ten years later it is likely she would rather have a life-belt and he would rather have her have it. Hero: Person in a book who does things which he can't and girl marries him for it.
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Always tell the truth then you don't have to remember anything
Mark Twain