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If the man doesn't believe as we do, we say he is a crank, and that settles it. I mean, it does nowadays, because now we can't burn him.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Political
Nowadays
Truth
Settling
Doe
Burn
Mean
Atheism
Believe
Opinion
Men
Religion
Science
Settles
Doesn
Crank

More quotes by Mark Twain

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By trampling upon the helpless abroad with unchecked surveillance, Americans have learned, by a natural process, to endure with apathy the like at home.
Mark Twain
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I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.
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A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read.
Mark Twain
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I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know.
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Whose property is my body? Probably mine. I so regard it. If I experiment with it, who must be answerable? I, not the State. If I choose injudiciously, does the state die? Oh, no.
Mark Twain
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Such is luck! And such the treatment which honest, good perservance gets so often at the hands of unfair and malicious Nature!
Mark Twain
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To get the full value of joy You must have someone to divide it with. After all these years I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning it is better to live outside the Garden with her than inside it without her.
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It's so damned humiliating.
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I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get the same money for cop.
Mark Twain
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All emotion is involuntary when genuine.
Mark Twain
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I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.
Mark Twain
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It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.
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Frankness is a jewel only the young can afford it.
Mark Twain
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A joke, even if it be a lame one, is nowhere so keenly relished or quickly applauded as in a murder trial.
Mark Twain
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The secret of success is making your vocation your vacation.
Mark Twain
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None but an ass pays a compliment and asks a favour at the same time. There are many asses.
Mark Twain
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I cannot help but notice that there is no problem between us that cannot be solved by your departure.
Mark Twain
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I have found out that there ain't no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.
Mark Twain
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The cayote is a living, breathing allegory of Want. He is always hungry. He is always poor, out of luck and friendless. The meanest creatures despise him, and even the fleas would desert him for a velocipede.
Mark Twain
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The dog is a gentleman I hope to go to his heaven not man's.
Mark Twain