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Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Funny
Annual
Science
Regular
Inspirational
Resolution
Next
Usual
Years
Accepted
Make
Begin
Paving
Good
Week
Resolutions
Time
Hell
Annuals

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The less a man knows the bigger the noise he makes and the higher the salary he commands.
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That's just the way: a person does a low-down thing, and then he don't want to take no consequences of it. Thinks as long as he can hide it, it ain't no disgrace.
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If smoking cigars is not permitted in heaven, I won''t go.
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I wish I could make him understand that a loving good heart is riches enough, and that without it intellect is poverty.
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One learns peoples through the heart, not the eyes or the intellect.
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Self-approval is acquired mainly from the approval of other people.
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I don't see any use in having a uniform and arbitrary way of spelling words. We might as well make all clothes alike and cook all dishes alike. Sameness is tiresome variety is pleasing.
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The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.
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Forget and forgive. This is not difficult when properly understood.
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One frequently only finds out how really beautiful a beautiful woman is after considerable acquaintance with her.
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There have been innumerable Temporary Seekers after the Truth-have you ever heard of a permanent one?
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The political and commercial morals of the United States are not merely food for laughter, they are an entire banquet.
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I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get the same money for cop.
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I am content to be a bric-a-bracker and a Ceramiker.
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Where a blood relation sobs, an intimate friend should choke up, a distant acquaintance should sigh, a stranger should merely fumble sympathetically with his handkerchief.
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Eternal rest sounds comforting in the pulpit well, you try it once, and see how heavy time will hang on your hands.
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Duties are not performed for duty's sake, but because their neglect would make the man uncomfortable. A man performs but one duty - the duty of contenting his spirit, the duty of making himself agreeable to himself.
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Adam did not want the apple for the apple's sake he wanted it because it was forbidden.
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Dying man couldn't make up his mind which place to go to-both have their advantages, heaven for the climate, hell for the company!
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Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.
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