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Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Time
Hell
Annuals
Funny
Annual
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Regular
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Resolution
Next
Usual
Years
Accepted
Make
Begin
Paving
Good
Week
Resolutions
More quotes by Mark Twain
Too bad that youth is wasted on the young.
Mark Twain
A man who keeps company with glaciers comes to feel tolerably insignificiant by and by. The Alps and the glaciers together are able to take every bit of conceit out of a man and reduce his self-importance to zero if he will only remain within the influence of their sublime presence long enough to give it a fair and reasonable chance to do its work.
Mark Twain
If we only had some God in the country's laws, instead of being in such a sweat to get him into the Constitution, it would be better all around.
Mark Twain
A banquet is probably the most fatiguing thing in the world except ditchdigging. It is the insanest of all recreations. The inventor of it overlooked no detail that could furnish weariness, distress, harassment, and acute and long-sustained misery of mind and body.
Mark Twain
But old fools is the biggest fools there is.
Mark Twain
for business reasons, I must preserve the outward signs of sanity.
Mark Twain
God was left out of the Constitution, but was furnished a front seat in this nations currency. (In God we Trust) is a lie, this nations trust has always been with the dollar.
Mark Twain
Data is like garbage. You'd better know what you are going to do with it before you collect it.
Mark Twain
Circumstances make man, not man circumstances.
Mark Twain
It is higher and nobler to be kind.
Mark Twain
Experience teaches us only one thing at a time - and hardly that, in my case.
Mark Twain
Are you so unobservant as not to have found out that sanity and happiness are an impossible combination?
Mark Twain
The convention missionaries call modesty has no standard, and cannot have one, because it is opposed to nature and reason and is therefore an artificiality and subject to anybody's whim - anybody's diseased caprice.
Mark Twain
Annihilation has no terrors for me, because I have already tried it before I was born --a hundred million years --and I have suffered more in an hour, in this life, than I remember to have suffered in the whole hundred million years put together.
Mark Twain
Some of us cannot be optimists, but all of us can be bigamists
Mark Twain
There is no security in life, only opportunity.
Mark Twain
True irreverence is disrespect for another man's god.
Mark Twain
Peace by persuasion has a pleasant sound, but I think we should not be able to work it. We should have to tame the human race first, and history seems to show that that cannot be done.
Mark Twain
It is easy to find fault, if one has that disposition. There was once a man who, not being able to find any other fault with his coal, complained that there were too many prehistoric toads in it.
Mark Twain
The fact is, the king was a good deal more than a king, he was a man and when a man is a man, you can't knock it out of him.
Mark Twain
