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Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Good
Week
Resolutions
Time
Hell
Annuals
Funny
Annual
Science
Regular
Inspirational
Resolution
Next
Usual
Years
Accepted
Make
Begin
Paving

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Manifestly, dying is nothing to a really great and brave man.
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I like Joan of Arc best of all my books and it is the best I know it perfectly well.
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Why is it that, among men, physical courage is a trait so plenteous yet moral courage is a trait so rare?
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We laugh and laugh. Then cry and cry- Then feebler laugh, Then die.
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What ought to be done to the man who invented the celebrating of anniversaries? Mere killing would be too light.
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Every one knew he could foretell wars and famines, though that was not so hard, for there was always a war, and generally a famine somewhere.
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I was exceedingly delighted with the waltz, and also with the polka. These differ in name, but there the difference ceases
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Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.
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Epitaphs are cheap, and they do a poor chap a world of good after he is dead, especially if he had hard luck while he was alive. I wish they were used more.
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It is easier for a cannibal to enter the Kingdom of Heaven through the eye of a rich man's needle that it is for any other foreigner to read the terrible German script.
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Man can seldom - very, very, seldom - fight a winning fight against his training the odds are too heavy.
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It's so damned humiliating.
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I am losing enough sleep to supply a worn-out army.
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The happy phrasing of a compliment is one of the rarest of human gifts, and the happy delivery of it another.
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Like most people, I often feel mean, and act accordingly.
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It's an epitome of life. The first half of it consists of the capacity to enjoy without the chance the last half consists of the chance without the capacity.
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When in doubt tell the truth.
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No throne exists that has a right to exist, and no symbol of it, flying from any flagstaff, is righteously entitled to wear any device but the skull and crossbones of that kindred industry which differs from royalty only businesswise-merely as retail differs from wholesale.
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The human race consists of the damned and the ought-to-be damned.
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Each man must for himself alone decide what is right and what is wrong, which course is patriotic and which isn't. You cannot shirk this and be a man. To decide against your conviction is to be an unqualified and excusable traitor, both to yourself and to your country, let men label you as they may.
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