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The Koran does not permit Mohammedans to drink. Their natural instincts do not permit them to be moral. They say the Sultan has eight hundred wives. This almost amounts to bigamy.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Almost
Instincts
Moral
Permit
Religion
Instinct
Natural
Eight
Sultan
Doe
Hundred
Bigamy
Drink
Koran
Amount
Amounts
Wife
Wives

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I have a religion-but you will call it blasphemy. It is that there is a God for the rich man but none for the poor.....Perhaps your religion will sustain you,will feed you-I place no dependence in mine. Our religions are alike, though, in one respect-neither can make a man happy when he is out of luck.
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A wise man does not waste so good a commodity as lying for naught.
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I ordinarily smoke fifteen cigars during my five hours' labours, and if my interest reaches the enthusiastic point, I smoke more. I smoke with all my might, and allow no intervals.
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Continuous improvement is better than delayed perfection.
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for business reasons, I must preserve the outward signs of sanity.
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Italy is the home of art and swindling home of religion and moral rottenness
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I haven't a particle of confidence in a man who has no redeeming petty vices whatsoever.
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Sufficient unto the day is one baby. As long as you are in your right mind don't you ever pray for twins. Twins amount to a permanent riot and there ain't any real difference between triplets and a insurrection. - The Babies speech 1879
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I am dead to adverbs they cannot excite me. To misplace an adverb is a thing which I am able to do with frozen indifference it can never give me a pang. There are subtleties which I cannot master at all - they confuse me, they mean absolutely nothing to me - and this adverb plague is one of them.
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Courage is not the absence of fear, but the mastery of it.
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Self-approval is acquired mainly from the approval of other people.
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Time spent with your children is time wisely spent.
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I cannot see how a man of any large degree of humorous perception can ever be religious -- unless he purposely shut the eyes of his mind & keep them shut by force.
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But the elastic heart of youth cannot be compressed into one constrained shape long at a time.
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Life is but a dream, a grotesque and foolish dream.
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True irreverence is disrespect for another man's god.
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Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late.
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There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one - keep from telling their happiness to the unhappy.
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If God had meant for us to be naked, we'd have been born that way.
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