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We don't cut up when mad men are bred by the old legitimate regular stock religions, but we can't allow wildcat religions to indulge in such disastrous experiments.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Religions
Experiments
Mad
Disastrous
Allow
Bred
Cutting
Legitimate
Religion
Indulge
Men
Regular
Stock

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Eight grown Americans out of ten dread the coming of the Fourth, with its pandemonium and its perils, and they rejoice when it is gone-if still alive.
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If we would learn what the human race really is at bottom, we need only observe it in election times.
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Jane Austen's books, too, are absent from this library. Just that one omission alone would make a fairly good library out of a library that hadn't a book in it.
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I am only human, although I regret it.
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Lord save us all from a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms.
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I was sorry to have my name mentioned as one of the great authors, because they have a sad habit of dying off. Chaucer is dead, Spencer is dead, so is Milton, so is Shakespeare, and I’m not feeling so well myself.
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Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.
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A man who carries a cat by the tail is getting experience that will always be helpful. He isn't likely to grow dim or doubtful. Chances are, he isn't likely to carry the cat that way again, either. But if he wants to, I say let him!
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Happiness ain't a thing in itself -it's only a contrast with something that ain't pleasant. And so, as soon as the novelty is over and the force of the contrast dulled, it ain't happiness any longer, and you have to get something fresh.
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When an honest writer discovers an imposition it is his simple duty to strip it bare and hurl it down from its place of honor, no matter who suffers by it any other course would render him unworthy of the public confidence.
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One mustn't criticize other people on grounds where he can't stand perpendicular himself
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I have been an author for 20 years and an ass for 55.
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A better idea than my own is to listen.
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It is better to take what does not belong to you than to let it lie around neglected.
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Don't look at the world with your hands in your pockets. To write about it you have to reach out and touch it.
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A crowded police docket is the surest of all signs that trade is brisk and money plenty.
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We consider that any man who can fiddle all through one of those Virginia Reels without losing his grip may be depended upon in any kind of musical emergency.
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