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My land, the power of training! Of influence! Of education! It can bring a body up to believe anything.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Believe
Influence
Bring
Land
Education
Religion
Power
Anything
Body
Training

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To do something, say something, see something, before anybody else -- these are things that confer a pleasure compared with which other pleasures are tame and commonplace, other ecstasies cheap and trivial.
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We called him Barney for short. We couldn't use his real name, there wasn't time.
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The humorous story is told gravely the teller does his best to conceal the fact that he even dimly suspects that there is anything funny about it.
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It is not what a man knows, but what he thinks of in time.
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History doesn't repeat itself it rhymes.
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I do not like an injurious lie, except when it injures somebody else.
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We recognize that there are no trivial occurrences in life if we get the right focus on them.
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All men are ignorant, just on different subjects.
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Obscurity and a competence—that is the life that is best worth living.
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Sometimes my feelings are so hot that I have to take the pen and put them out on paper to keep them from setting me afire inside then all that ink and labor are wasted because I can't print the results
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If there is one thing that is really cheerful in the world, it is cheerfulness. I have noticed it often. And I have noticed that when a man is right down cheerful, he is seldom unhappy for the time being. Such is the nature of man.
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If all men were rich, all men would be poor.
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The Bible is a wonderful book you can prove anything you want with it.
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The most difficult We do not deal in facts when we are contemplating ourselves.
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There is a great difference between feeding parties to wild beasts and stirring up their finer feelings in an inquisition. One is the system of degraded barbarians, the other of enlightened civilized people.
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A sincere compliment is always grateful to a lady, so long as you don't try to knock her down with it.
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The man who is ostentatious of his modesty is twin to the statue that wears a fig-leaf.
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There is no such thing as a new idea. We simply take a lot of old ideas and put them into a sort of mental kaleidoscope.
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What a world of trouble those who never marry escape! There are many happy matches, it is true, and sometimes my dear, and my love come from the heart but what sensible bachelor, rejoicing in his freedom and years of discretion, will run the tremendous risk?
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There is no such thing as the Queen's English. The property has gone into the hands of a joint stock company and we own the bulk of the shares!
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