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Alas! those good old days are gone, when a murderer could wipe the stain from his name and soothe his trouble to sleep simply by getting out his blocks and mortar and building an addition to a church.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
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Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
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Wipe
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Alas
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Don't dream your life, but live your dream
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Sagebrush is a very fair fuel, but as a vegetable it is a distinguished failure. Nothing can abide the taste of it but the jackass and his illegitimate child the mule.
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Two days overdue, THE WORLD'S WORK has not reached me. Pray make a note of this. I would rather not have to resort to violence.
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There is probably no pleasure equal to the pleasure of climbing a dangerous Alp but it is a pleasure which is confined strictly to people who can find pleasure in it.
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An occultation of Venus is not half so difficult as an eclipse of the sun, but because it comes seldom the world thinks it's a grand thing.
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Nothing helps scenery like bacon and eggs.
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Learn from the mistakes of others - you won't live long enough to make them all yourself. He's opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer him the position.
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The calamity that comes is never the one we had prepared ourselves for.
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Concentration of power in a political machine is bad and an Established Church is only a political machine it was invented for that it is nursed, cradled, preserved for that it is an enemy to human liberty, and does no good which it could not better do in a split-up and scattered condition.
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A banker is somebody who lends you an umbrella & takes it away as soon as it starts raining.
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These are the true and only God, mighty and supreme.
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It is a shameful thing to insult a child.
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In writing, I shall always confine myself strictly to the truth, except when it is attended with inconvenience.
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Thanksgiving Day - Let all give humble, hearty, and sincere thanks, now, but the turkeys. In the island of Fiji they do not use turkeys, they use plumbers. It does not become you and me to sneer at Fiji.
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Some things you can't find out but you will never know you can't by guessing and supposing: no, you have to be patient and go on experimenting until you find out that you can't find out.
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I am dead to adverbs they cannot excite me. To misplace an adverb is a thing which I am able to do with frozen indifference it can never give me a pang. There are subtleties which I cannot master at all - they confuse me, they mean absolutely nothing to me - and this adverb plague is one of them.
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I am living a new and exalted life of late. It steeps me in a sacred rapture to see a portrait develop and take soul under my hand. First, I throw off a study - just a mere study, a few apparently random lines - and to look at it you would hardly ever suspect who it was going to be even I cannot tell, myself.
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Not until you become a stranger to yourself will you be able to make acquaintance with the Friend.
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Make your mark in New York and you are a made man.
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Education that consists in learning things and not the meaning of them is feeding upon the husks and not the corn
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