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Alas! those good old days are gone, when a murderer could wipe the stain from his name and soothe his trouble to sleep simply by getting out his blocks and mortar and building an addition to a church.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Sin
Blocks
Names
Crime
Addition
Gone
Building
Wipe
Soothe
Getting
Name
Murderer
Mortar
Church
Simply
Publishers
Stain
Religion
Alas
Humorists
Good
Trouble
Entrepreneur
Lecturer
Days
Block
Stains
Sleep

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Hero: Person in a book who does things which he can't and girl marries him for it.
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Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.
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France has usually been governed by prostitutes
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No one can tell me what is a good cigar - for me. I am the only judge. People who claim to know say that I smoke the worst cigars in the world. They bring their own cigars when they come to my house.
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How empty is theory in the presence of fact!
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I have learned that human existence is essentially tragic. It is only the love of God, disclosed and enacted in Christ, that redeems the human tragedy and makes it tolerable. No, more than tolerable. Wonderful.
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the size of a misfortune is not determinable by an outsider’s measurement of it but only by the measurements applied to it by the person specially affected by it.
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Civilization largely consists in hiding human nature. When the barbarian learns to hide it we account him enlightened.
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Those who do not read the news are uninformed. Those who do are misinformed.
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Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.
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Each man is afraid of his neighbor's disapproval - a thing which, to the general run of the human race, is more dreaded than wolves and death.
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Do not complain about growing old. It is a privilege denied to many.
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Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.
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Jane Austen's books, too, are absent from this library. Just that one omission alone would make a fairly good library out of a library that hadn't a book in it.
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The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
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To be good is noble but to show others how to be good is nobler and no trouble.
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I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.
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We are all alike, on the inside.
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God only exhibits his thunder and lightning at intervals, and so they always command attention.
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When an honest writer discovers an imposition it is his simple duty to strip it bare and hurl it down from its place of honor, no matter who suffers by it any other course would render him unworthy of the public confidence.
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