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Alas! those good old days are gone, when a murderer could wipe the stain from his name and soothe his trouble to sleep simply by getting out his blocks and mortar and building an addition to a church.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Religion
Simply
Publishers
Stain
Good
Trouble
Alas
Humorists
Days
Entrepreneur
Lecturer
Sleep
Block
Stains
Names
Sin
Blocks
Gone
Crime
Addition
Getting
Building
Wipe
Soothe
Church
Name
Murderer
Mortar

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You perceive, now, that these things are all impossible except in a dream. You perceive that they are pure and puerile insanities, the silly creations of an imagination that is not conscious of its freaks - in a word, that they are a dream, and you the maker of it. The dream-marks are all present you should have recognized them earlier.
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When I am king they shall not have bread and shelter only, but also teachings out of books, for a full belly is little worth where the mind is starved.
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I've never let my school interfere with my education.
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Anyone who can only think of one way to spell a word obviously lacks imagination.
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I cannot call to mind a single instance where I have ever been irreverent, except toward the things which were sacred to other people.
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Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities Truth isn't.
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Experience comes from bad judgment.
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Prediction is difficult- particularly when it involves the future.
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I like a good story well told. That is the reason I am sometimes forced to tell them myself.
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It is my belief that nearly any invented quotation, played with confidence, stands a good chance to deceive.
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There ain't no way to find out why a snorer can't hear himself snore.
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Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness.
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They did not know it was impossible so they did it
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Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eyewitness.
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I prefer milk because I am a Prohibitionist, but I do not go to it for inspiration.
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He was a solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.
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Heaven is by favor if it were by merit your dog would go in and you would stay out. Of all the creatures ever made (man) is the most detestable. Of the entire brood, he is the only one... that possesses malice. He is the only creature that inflicts pain for sport, knowing it to be pain.
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Whenever the human race assembles to a number exceeding four, it cannot stand free speech.
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Everybody lies...every day, every hour, awake, asleep, in his dreams, in his joy, in his mourning. If he keeps his tongue still his hands, his feet, his eyes, his attitude will convey deception.
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Between believing a thing and thinking you KNOW is only a small step and quickly taken.
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