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Alas! those good old days are gone, when a murderer could wipe the stain from his name and soothe his trouble to sleep simply by getting out his blocks and mortar and building an addition to a church.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Getting
Building
Wipe
Soothe
Church
Name
Murderer
Mortar
Religion
Simply
Publishers
Stain
Good
Trouble
Alas
Humorists
Days
Entrepreneur
Lecturer
Sleep
Block
Stains
Names
Sin
Blocks
Gone
Crime
Addition

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Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.
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Your road is everything that a road ought to be...and yet you will not stay in it half a mile, for the reason that little, seductive, mysterious roads are always branching out from it on either hand, and as these curve sharply also and hide what is beyond, you cannot resist the temptation to desert your own chosen path and explore them.
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Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.
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An author values a compliment even when it comes from a source of doubtful competency.
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Experience comes from bad judgment.
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To be satisfied with what one has that is wealth.
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Balloon: Thing to take meteroric observations and commit suicide with.
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What God lacks is convictions- stability of character. He ought to be a Presbyterian or a Catholic or something- not try to be everything.
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The reason why truth is so much stranger than fiction is that there is no requirement for it to be consistent.
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There ain't nothing more to write about and I'm rotten glad of it, because if I'd know'd what trouble it was to make a book, I wouldn't a tackled it.
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My father was an amazing man. The older I got, the smarter he got.
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If we should deal out justice only, in this world, who would escape? No, it is better to be generous, and in the end more profitable, for it gains gratitude for us, and love.
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If there is one thing that is really cheerful in the world, it is cheerfulness. I have noticed it often. And I have noticed that when a man is right down cheerful, he is seldom unhappy for the time being. Such is the nature of man.
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The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.
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We find not much in ourselves to admire, we are always privately wanting to be like somebody else. If everybody was satisfied with himself, there would be no heroes
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When a man arrives at great prosperity God did it: when he falls into disaster he did it himself.
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Such is professional jealousy a scientist will never show any kindness for a theory which he did not start himself.
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There have been innumerable Temporary Seekers after the Truth-have you ever heard of a permanent one?
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Even popularity can be overdone. In Rome, along at first, you are full of regrets that Michelangelo died but by and by, you only regret that you didn't see him do it.
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People are much more willing to lend you books than bookcases.
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