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Religion consists in a set of things which the average man thinks he believes and wishes he was certain of.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Wish
Wishes
Certain
Consists
Believe
Believes
Things
Atheist
Men
Thinks
Thinking
Average
Atheism
Religion
Atheistic

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A good memory and a tongue tied in the middle is a combination which gives immortality to conversation.
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I do not wish any reward but to know I have done the right thing.
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Names are not always what they seem.
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It may be called the Master Passion, the hunger for self-approval.
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Surely the ass who invented the first religion ought to be the first ass damned
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It is so unsatisfactory to read a noble passage and have no one you love at hand to share the happiness with you. And it is unsatisfactory to read to one's self anyhow - for the uttered voice so heightens the expression.
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There are no wild animals until man makes them so.
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That's just the way: a person does a low-down thing, and then he don't want to take no consequences of it. Thinks as long as he can hide it, it ain't no disgrace.
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If you've got a nice fresh corpse, fetch him out!
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Never pick a fight with people who buy ink by the barrel.
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....try the mustard, - a man can't know what turnips are in perfection without mustard.
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for business reasons, I must preserve the outward signs of sanity.
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