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When politics enter into municipal government, nothing resulting therefrom in the way of crimes and infamies is then incredible. It actually enables one to accept and believe the impossible.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Accepting
Infamy
Impossible
Resulting
Politics
Enables
Actually
Crimes
Government
Enter
Nothing
Incredible
Believe
Accept
Therefrom
Way
Crime
Municipal

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In all my travels the thing that has impressed me the most is the universal brotherhood of man-what there is of it.
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You want to be very careful about lying otherwise you are nearly sure to get caught.
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If smoking cigars is not permitted in heaven, I won''t go.
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If to be interesting is to be uncommonplace, it is becoming a question, with me, if there are any commonplace people
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The house was as empty as a beer closet in premises where painters have been at work.
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When I take up one of Jane Austen's books ... I feel like a barkeep entering the kingdom of heaven. I know what his sensation would be and his private comments. He would not find the place to his taste, and he would probably say so.
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When the Lord finished the world, he pronounced it good. That is what I said about my first work, too. But Time, I tell you, Time takes the confidence out of these incautious opinions. It is more than likely that He thinks about the world, now, pretty much as I think about the Innocents Abroad. The fact is, there is a trifle too much water in both.
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The Creator made Italy from designs by Michelangelo.
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Drop this mean and sordid and selfish devotion to the saving of your shabby little souls, and hunt up something to do that's got some dignity to it! Risk your souls! Risk them in good causes then if you lose them, why should you care? Reform!
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Heaven is by favor if it were by merit your dog would go in and you would stay out. Of all the creatures ever made (man) is the most detestable. Of the entire brood, he is the only one... that possesses malice. He is the only creature that inflicts pain for sport, knowing it to be pain.
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I can live for two months on a good compliment.
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Guides cannot master the subtleties of the American joke.
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Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.
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Eight grown Americans out of ten dread the coming of the Fourth, with its pandemonium and its perils, and they rejoice when it is gone-if still alive.
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My father was a Saint Bernard, my mother was a Collie, but I am a Presbyterian.
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Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.
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Of the 417 commandments, only a single one of the 417 has found ministerial obedience multiply and replenish the earth. To it sinner & saint, scholar & ignoramus, Christian & savage are alike loyal.
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I have stopped smoking now and then, for a few months at a time, but it was not on principle, it was only to show off it was to pulverize those critics who said I was a slave to my habits and couldn't break my bonds.
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