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The political and commercial morals of the United States are not merely food for laughter, they are an entire banquet.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Political
Commercial
States
Laughter
Merely
Entire
Banquet
Food
Banquets
Politics
Bureaucrats
Moral
Morals
United
Bureaucracy
More quotes by Mark Twain
Fame is a vapor, popularity an accident the only earthly certainty is oblivion.
Mark Twain
They all laid their heads together like as many lawyers when they are gettin' ready to prove that a man's heirs ain't got any right to his property.
Mark Twain
The more you join with people in their joys and their sorrows, the more nearer and dearer they come to be to you.
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The ordinary chestnut can beget a sickly and reluctant laugh, but it takes a horse chestnut to fetch the gorgeous big horse-laugh.
Mark Twain
The fear of lightning is one of the most distressing infirmities a human being can be afflicted with. It is mostly confined to women, but now and then you find it in a little dog, and sometimes a man.
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Now he found out a new thing--namely, that to promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing.
Mark Twain
Self-approval is acquired mainly from the approval of other people.
Mark Twain
A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read.
Mark Twain
So far as I am able to judge, nothing has been left undone, either by man or nature, to make India the most extraordinary country that the sun visits on his rounds. Nothing seems to have been forgotten, nothing overlooked.
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His money is twice tainted: taint yours and taint mine.
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Every man is in his own person the whole human race without a detail lacking....I knew I should not find in any philosophy a single thought which had not passed through my own head, nor a single thought which had not passed through the heads of millions and millions of men before I was born.
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Never miss an opportunity to shut up.
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They do say that when a man starts down hill everybody is ready to help him with a kick, and I suppose it is so.
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One mustn't criticize other people on grounds where he can't stand perpendicular himself
Mark Twain
'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read.
Mark Twain
It is easier to manufacture seven facts out of whole cloth than one emotion.
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I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.
Mark Twain
Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate.
Mark Twain
A banker is somebody who lends you an umbrella & takes it away as soon as it starts raining.
Mark Twain
Epitaphs are cheap, and they do a poor chap a world of good after he is dead, especially if he had hard luck while he was alive. I wish they were used more.
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