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The political and commercial morals of the United States are not merely food for laughter, they are an entire banquet.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Moral
Morals
United
Bureaucracy
Political
Commercial
States
Laughter
Merely
Entire
Banquet
Food
Banquets
Politics
Bureaucrats
More quotes by Mark Twain
When an audience does not complain, it is a compliment, and when it does, it is a compliment, too, if unaccompanied by violence.
Mark Twain
Principles aren't of much account anyway, except at election time. After that you hang them up to let them season.
Mark Twain
Too bad that youth is wasted on the young.
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I would not read the proof of one of my books for any fair & reasonable sum whatever, if I could get out of it. The proof-reading on the P & Pauper cost me the last rags of my religion.
Mark Twain
When politics enter into municipal government, nothing resulting therefrom in the way of crimes and infamies is then incredible. It actually enables one to accept and believe the impossible.
Mark Twain
If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.
Mark Twain
If God had meant for us to be naked, we'd have been born that way.
Mark Twain
The secret of getting ahead is getting started
Mark Twain
Never argue with people who buy ink by the gallon.
Mark Twain
If there is one thing that will make a man peculiarly and insufferable self-conceited, it is to have his stomach behave itself, the first day at sea, when nearly all his comrades are seasick.
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One can enjoy a rainbow without necessarily forgetting the forces that made it.
Mark Twain
Leaving out the gamblers, the burglars, and the plumbers, perhaps we do put our trust in God after a fashion. But, after all, it is an overstatement. If the cholera or black plague should come to these shores, perhaps the bulk of the nation would pray to be delivered from it, but the rest would put their trust in The Health Board.
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Never be haughty to the humble, never be humble to the haughty.
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Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.
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It's easy to make friends, but hard to get rid of them.
Mark Twain
The law of work seems unfair, but nothing can change it the more enjoyment you get out of your work, the more money you will make.
Mark Twain
Being rich ain't what it's cracked up to be. It's just worry and worry, and sweat and sweat, and a-wishing you was dead all the time.
Mark Twain
He was endowed with a stupidity which by the least little stretch would go around the globe four times and tie.
Mark Twain
In all the ages, three-fourths of the support of the great charities has been conscience money.
Mark Twain
When one has tasted watermelon he knows what the angels eat.
Mark Twain
