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To get the full value of joy You must have someone to divide it with. After all these years I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning it is better to live outside the Garden with her than inside it without her.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Without
Value
Must
Inside
Years
Joy
Divide
Life
Full
Divides
Values
Mistaken
Someone
Garden
Better
Beginning
Live
Outside

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Leaving out the gamblers, the burglars, and the plumbers, perhaps we do put our trust in God after a fashion. But, after all, it is an overstatement. If the cholera or black plague should come to these shores, perhaps the bulk of the nation would pray to be delivered from it, but the rest would put their trust in The Health Board.
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Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
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There has never been a Protestant boy nor a Protestant girl whose mind the Bible has not soiled.
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Let us guess that whenever we read a sentence & like it, we unconsciously store it away in our model-chamber & it goes, with the myriad of its fellows, to the building, brick by brick, of the eventual edifice which we call our style.
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There are no people who are quite so vulgar as the over-refined.
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Humorists of the 'mere' sort cannot survive. Humor is only a fragrance, a decoration.
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France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country.
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Travel has no longer any charm for me. I have seen all the foreign countries I want to except heaven & hell & I have only a vague curiosity about one of those.
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It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.
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My sister...was an interested and zealous invalid during sixty-five years, tried all the new diseases as fast as they came out, and always enjoyed the newest one more than any that went before my brother had accumulated forty-two brands of Christianity before he was called away.
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I was educated once - it took me years to get over it.
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Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to.
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There's some human instinct which makes a man treasure what he is not to make any use of, because everybody does not possess it.
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Grown people everywhere are always likely to cling to the religion they were brought up in.
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Congress: America's only true criminal class.
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God cures and the doctor sends the bill.
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Conformity—the natural instinct to passively yield to that vague something recognized as authority.
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July 4. Statistics show that we lose more fools on this day than in all the other days of the year put together. This proves, by the number left in stock, that one fourth of July per year is now inadequate, the country has grown so
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I said nothing of the sort.
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When some men discharge an obligation, you can hear the report for miles around.
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