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If we learned to walk and talk the way we learn to read and write, everyone would limp and stutter.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Talk
Read
Stutter
Learn
Limp
Everyone
Leadership
Write
Walk
Writing
Walks
Way
Learned
Would
Learning

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Consider the average intelligence of the common man, then realize 50% are even stupider.
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Don't dream your life, but live your dream
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The frankest and freest and privatest product of the human mind and heart is a love letter.
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There are two times in a man's life when he should not speculate: when he can't afford it, and when he can.
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None of us can have as many virtues as the fountain-pen, or half its cussedness but we can try.
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I had longed to be a butterfly, and I was one at last. I attended private parties in sumptuous evening dress, simpered and aired my graces like a born beau, and polkaed and schoisched with a step peculiar to myself - and the kangaroo.
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It's not the parts of the Bible I don't know that worries me...it's the parts that I do.
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In religion and politics, people's belief's and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second hand, and without examination
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Gratitude is a debt which usually goes on accumulating like blackmail the more you pay, the more is exacted.
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Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.
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The best of us would rather be popular than right.
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As an example to others, and not that I care for moderation myself, it has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain from smoking when awake.
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It's not as bad as it sounds.
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Whiskey is carried into committee rooms in demijohns and carried out in demagogues.
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To me [Edgar Allen Poe's] prose is unreadable—like Jane Austin's [sic]. No there is a difference. I could read his prose on salary, but not Jane's. Jane is entirely impossible. It seems a great pity that they allowed her to die a natural death.
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High and fine literature is wine, and mine is only water but everybody likes water.
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He wa'n't no common dog, he wa'n't no mongrel he was a composite. A composite dog is a dog that is made up of all the valuable qualities that's in the dog breed-kind of a syndicate and a mongrel is made up of all riffraff that's left over.
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All the territorial possessions of all the political establishments in the earth--including America, of course-- consist of pilferings from other people's wash. No tribe, howsoever insignificant, and no nation, howsoever mighty occupies a foot of land that was not stolen.
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Each of you, for himself, by himself and on his own responsibility, must speak.
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There is a great difference between feeding parties to wild beasts and stirring up their finer feelings in an inquisition. One is the system of degraded barbarians, the other of enlightened civilized people.
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