Quote

English humor is hard to appreciate, though, unless you are trained to it. The English papers, in reporting my speeches, always put 'laughter' in the wrong place.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Humor
Papers
Though
Trained
Wrong
English
Place
Laughter
Hard
Appreciate
Always
Speech
Paper
Reporting
Unless
Speeches

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I would have written a shorter letter, but I did not have the time.
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We laugh and laugh. Then cry and cry- Then feebler laugh, Then die.
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We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world and it's efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don't know anything and can't read-
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In God We Trust. It is the choicest compliment that has ever been paid us, and the most gratifying to our feelings. It is simple, direct, gracefully phrased it always sounds well - In God We Trust. I don't believe it would sound any better if it were true.
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Half of the results of a good intentions are evil half the results of an evil intention are good.
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The cost of living hasn't effected its popularity.
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It is a good thing to write for the amusement of the public, but it is a far higher and nobler thing to write for their instruction, their profit, their actual and tangible benefit.
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You know that kind of quiver that trembles around through you when you are seeing something so strange and enchanting and wonderful that it is just a fearful joy to be alive and look at it and you know how you gaze, and your lips turn dry and your breath comes short, but you wouldn't be anywhere but there, not for the world.
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He was a solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.
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I'm the only person who has ever found the right way to build an autobiography.
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In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.
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A circle is a round straight line with a hole in the middle.
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If you tell the truth you do not need a good memory!
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Never tell a lie-except for practice.
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Not until you become a stranger to yourself will you be able to make acquaintance with the Friend.
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Morals are not the important thing-nor enlightenment-nor civilization. A man can do absolutely well without them, but he can't do without something to eat. The supremest thing is the need of the body, not of the mind and spirit.
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The reason why truth is so much stranger than fiction is that there is no requirement for it to be consistent.
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There is nothing in the world like persuasive speech to fuddle the mental apparatus.
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