Quote

Humor must be one of the chief attributes of God. Plants and animals that are distinctly humorous in form and characteristics are God's jokes.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Humorous
Plant
Jokes
Distinctly
Animals
Plants
Humor
Attributes
Animal
Chief
Form
Chiefs
Must
Characteristics

More quotes by Mark Twain

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The minute we get reconciled to a person, how willing we are to throw aside little needless punctilios and pronounce his name right.
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The master minds of all nations, in all ages, have sprung in affluent multitude from the mass of the nations, and from the mass of the nation only-not from its privileged classes.
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There's a good spot tucked away somewhere in everybody. You'll be a long time finding it, sometimes.
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Conscience, man's moral medicine chest.
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You may call a jay a bird. Well, so he is, in a measure--because he's got feathers on him, and don't belong to no church, perhapsbut otherwise he is just as much a human as you be. And I'll tell you for why. A jay's gifts and instincts, and feelings, and interests, cover the whole ground. A jay hasn't got any more principle than a Congressman.
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Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.
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Conductor, when you receive a fare, Punch in the presence of the passenjare. A blue trip slip for an eight-cent fare, A buff trip slip for a six-cent fare, A pink trip slip for a three-cent fare, Punch in the presence of the passenjare! Punch, brothers! punch with care! Punch in the presence of the passenjare!
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In God We Trust. It is the choicest compliment that has ever been paid us, and the most gratifying to our feelings. It is simple, direct, gracefully phrased it always sounds well - In God We Trust. I don't believe it would sound any better if it were true.
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I do love compliments, yet I'm often embarrassed to say what I think to the person when I get a compliment. I so often feel that they have not gone far enough.
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Fortune knocks at every man's door once in a life, but in a good many cases the man is in a neighboring saloon and does not hear her.
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It takes some little time to accept and realize the fact that while you have been growing old, your friends have not been standing still, in that matter.
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I have done more for San Francisco than any of its old residents. Since I left there it has increased in population fully 300,000. I could have done more - I could have gone earlier - it was suggested.
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Conformity—the natural instinct to passively yield to that vague something recognized as authority.
Mark Twain
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Of the 417 commandments, only a single one of the 417 has found ministerial obedience multiply and replenish the earth. To it sinner & saint, scholar & ignoramus, Christian & savage are alike loyal.
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'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read.
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One may make their house a palace of sham, or they can make it a home, a refuge.
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I can always tell which is the front end of a horse, but beyond that, my art is not above the ordinary.
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Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial 'we.'
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Man is without doubt the most interesting fool there is. He concedes that God made the angels immune from pain and death, and that he could have been similarly kind to man, but denies that he was under any moral obligation to do so.
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High and fine literature is wine, and mine is only water but everybody likes water.
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