Quote

Humor is the great thing, the saving thing after all. The minute it crops up, all our hardnesses yield, all our irritations, and resentments flit away, and a sunny spirit takes their place.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Humor
Hardness
Minutes
Irritation
Takes
Crops
Away
Sunny
Spirit
Resentment
Place
Yield
Irritations
Great
Saving
Flit
Thing
Minute
Resentments

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Difference between savage and civilized man: one is painted, the other gilded.
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I have not professionally dealt in truth. Many when they come to die have spent all the truth that was in them, and enter the next world as paupers. I have saved up enough to make an astonishment there.
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When I take up one of Jane Austen's books ... I feel like a barkeep entering the kingdom of heaven. I know what his sensation would be and his private comments. He would not find the place to his taste, and he would probably say so.
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Except a person be part coward, it is not a compliment to say he is brave.
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I was seldom able to see an opportunity until it had ceased to be one.
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Who is this Renaissance? Where did he come from? Who gave him permission to cram the Republic with his execrable daubs?
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The most outrageous lies that can be invented will find believers if a person only tells them with all his might.
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What is there that confers the noblest delight? What is that which swells a man's breast with pride above that which any other experience can bring to him? Discovery!
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Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.
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So far as I am able to judge, nothing has been left undone, either by man or nature, to make India the most extraordinary country that the sun visits on his rounds. Nothing seems to have been forgotten, nothing overlooked.
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Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
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My sister...was an interested and zealous invalid during sixty-five years, tried all the new diseases as fast as they came out, and always enjoyed the newest one more than any that went before my brother had accumulated forty-two brands of Christianity before he was called away.
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Data is like garbage. You'd better know what you are going to do with it before you collect it.
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I felt so lonesome I most wished I was dead. The stars were shining, and the leaves rustled in the woods ever so mournful and I heard an owl, away off, who-whooing about somebody that was dead, and a whippowill and a dog crying about somebody that was going to die.
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Among other common lies, we have the silent lie - the deception which one conveys by simply keeping still and concealing the truth. Many obstinate truth-mongers indulge in this dissipation, imagining that if they speak no lie, they lie not at all.
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I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.
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How lovely is death and how niggardly it is doled out.
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College is a place where a professor's lecture notes go straight to the students' lecture notes, without passing through the brains of either.
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You can't reason with your heart it has its own laws, and thumps about things which the intellect scorns.
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Cherimoya, the most delicious fruit known to men.
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