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The humorous writer professes to awaken and direct your love, your pity, your kindness--your scorn for untruth, pretension, imposture....He takes upon himself to be the week-day preacher.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
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Preacher
Upon
Humorous
Love
Pity
Imposture
Kindness
Professes
Direct
Untruth
Writer
Pretension
Humor
Awaken
Week
Scorn
More quotes by Mark Twain
To gnaw on is human, towards digest, divine.
Mark Twain
In literature imitations do not imitate.
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Gratitude and treachery are merely the two extremities of the same procession. You have seen all of it that is worth staying for when the band and the gaudy officials have gone by.
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There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.
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It's so damned humiliating.
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We don't care to eat toadstools that think they are truffles.
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Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
Mark Twain
Choosing not to read is like closing an open door to paradise
Mark Twain
I was sorry to have my name mentioned as one of the great authors, because they have a sad habit of dying off. Chaucer is dead, Spencer is dead, so is Milton, so is Shakespeare, and I’m not feeling so well myself.
Mark Twain
We Americans worship the almighty dollar! Well, it is a worthier god than Heredity Privilege.
Mark Twain
To string incongruities and absurdities together in a wandering and sometimes purposeless way, and seem innocently unaware that they are absurdities, is the basis of the American art, if my position is correct.
Mark Twain
Each nation knowing it has the only true religion and the only sane system of government, each despising all the others, each an ass and not suspecting it.
Mark Twain
If you are with the quality, or at a funeral, or trying to go to sleep when you ain't sleepy - if you are anywheres where it won't do for you to scratch, why you will itch all over in upwards of a thousand places.
Mark Twain
A jay hasnt got any more principle than a Congressman. A jay will lie, a jay will steal, a jay will deceive, a jay will betray and four times out of five, a jay will go back on his solemnest promise.
Mark Twain
Whose property is my body? Probably mine. I so regard it. If I experiment with it, who must be answerable? I, not the State. If I choose injudiciously, does the state die? Oh, no.
Mark Twain
Don't wait the time is never just right.
Mark Twain
Now, isn't imagination a precious thing? It peoples the earth with all manner of wonders.
Mark Twain
A circle is a round straight line with a hole in the middle.
Mark Twain
There is probably no pleasure equal to the pleasure of climbing a dangerous Alp but it is a pleasure which is confined strictly to people who can find pleasure in it.
Mark Twain
In my age, as in my youth, night brings me many a deep remorse. I realize that from the cradle up I have been like the rest of the race - never quite sane in the night.
Mark Twain