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The humorous writer professes to awaken and direct your love, your pity, your kindness--your scorn for untruth, pretension, imposture....He takes upon himself to be the week-day preacher.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Upon
Humorous
Love
Pity
Imposture
Kindness
Professes
Direct
Untruth
Writer
Pretension
Humor
Awaken
Week
Scorn
Takes
Preacher
More quotes by Mark Twain
Difference between savage and civilized man: one is painted, the other gilded.
Mark Twain
We love old travelers: we love to hear them prate, drivel and lie we love them for their asinine vanity, their ability to bore, their luxuriant fertility of imagination, their startling, brilliant, overwhelming mendacity.
Mark Twain
The Bible is a wonderful book you can prove anything you want with it.
Mark Twain
Never let the truth get in the way of a good story.
Mark Twain
The truth is a precious commodity. That's why I use it so sparingly.
Mark Twain
Life does not consist mainly - or even largely - of facts and happenings.
Mark Twain
Indecency, vulgarity, obscenity - these are strictly confined to man he invented them. Among the higher animals there is no trace of them. They hide nothing. They are not ashamed.
Mark Twain
There are too many stars in some places and not enough in others.
Mark Twain
Sagebrush is a very fair fuel, but as a vegetable it is a distinguished failure. Nothing can abide the taste of it but the jackass and his illegitimate child the mule.
Mark Twain
The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.
Mark Twain
I have traveled more than anyone else, and I have noticed that even the angels speak English with an accent.
Mark Twain
If smoking cigars is not permitted in heaven, I won''t go.
Mark Twain
Eternal rest sounds comforting in the pulpit well, you try it once, and see how heavy time will hang on your hands.
Mark Twain
There isn't anything you can't stand if you are only born and bred to it.
Mark Twain
Synergy - the bonus that is achieved when things work together harmoniously.
Mark Twain
Out of the unconscious lips of babes and sucklings are we satirized.
Mark Twain
Man is without doubt the most interesting fool there is. He concedes that God made the angels immune from pain and death, and that he could have been similarly kind to man, but denies that he was under any moral obligation to do so.
Mark Twain
Loyalty is a word which has worked vast harm for it has been made to trick men into being loyal to a thousand iniquities, whereas the true loyalty should have been to themselves - in which case there would have ensured a rebellion, and the throwing off of that deceptive yoke.
Mark Twain
A habit cannot be tossed out the window it must be coaxed down the stairs a step at a time.
Mark Twain
Man proposes, but God blocks the game.
Mark Twain