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Humorists of the 'mere' sort cannot survive. Humor is only a fragrance, a decoration.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Survive
Mere
Humor
Sort
Cannot
Humorists
Decoration
Fragrance

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Concentration of power in a political machine is bad and an Established Church is only a political machine it was invented for that it is nursed, cradled, preserved for that it is an enemy to human liberty, and does no good which it could not better do in a split-up and scattered condition.
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A crowded police docket is the surest of all signs that trade is brisk and money plenty.
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Love is an irreresisistible desire to be irresistibily desired.
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It is a pity we can't escape from life when we are young.
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In writing, I shall always confine myself strictly to the truth, except when it is attended with inconvenience.
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A good memory and a tongue tied in the middle is a combination which gives immortality to conversation.
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Like most people, I often feel mean, and act accordingly.
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Patriotism is merely a religion-love of country, worship of country, devotion to the country's flag and honor and welfare.
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I do not want Michael Angelo for breakfast-but for luncheon-for dinner- for tea-for supper-for between meals.
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If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.
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No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot
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There are many humorous things in the world among them, the white man's notion that he is less savage than the other savages.
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Travel has no longer any charm for me. I have seen all the foreign countries I want to except heaven & hell & I have only a vague curiosity about one of those.
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What a world of trouble those who never marry escape! There are many happy matches, it is true, and sometimes my dear, and my love come from the heart but what sensible bachelor, rejoicing in his freedom and years of discretion, will run the tremendous risk?
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Every man is a moon and has a side which he turns toward nobody: you have to slip around behind it if you want to see it.
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It is my belief that nearly any invented quotation, played with confidence, stands a good chance to deceive.
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Humor, to be comprehensible to anybody, must be built upon a foundation with which he is familiar. If he can't see the foundation the superstructure is to him merely a freak -- like the Flatiron building without any visible means of support -- something that ought to be arrested.
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Our best built certainties are but sand-houses and subject to damage from any wind of doubt that blows
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It is impossible that a genius - at least a literary genius - can ever be discovered by his intimates they are so close to him that he is out of focus to them and they can't get at his proportions they can't perceive that there is any considerable difference between his bulk and their own.
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My advice to girls: first, don't smoke - to excess second, don't drink - to excess third, don't marry - to excess.
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