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The funniest things are the forbidden.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Forbidden
Novelists
Humorous
Humor
Fun
Funny
Things
Humorists
Funniest

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Plain question and plain answer make the shortest road out of most perplexities.
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It may have happened, it may not have happened but it could have happened.
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A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read.
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The highest pleasure to be got out of freedom, and having nothing to do, is labor.
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Twenty-four years ago I was strangely handsome in San Francisco in the rainy season I was often mistaken for fair weather.
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The way it is now, the asylums can hold the sane people, but if we tried to shut up the insane we should run out of building materials.
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A marriage. . .will give a new gladness to the sunshine, a new fragrance to the flowers, a new beauty to the earth, and a new mystery to life.
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The difference between fiction and nonfiction is that fiction must be absolutely believable.
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Grown people everywhere are always likely to cling to the religion they were brought up in.
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You thunder and lightning too much the reader ceases to get under the bed, by and by.
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There have been innumerable Temporary Seekers after the Truth-have you ever heard of a permanent one?
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How slow and still the time did drag along.
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Dates are hard to remember because they consist of figures figures are monotonously unstriking in appearance, and they don't take hold, they form no pictures, and so they give the eye no chance to help. Pictures are the thing. Pictures can make dates stick.
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If you're looking for friends when you need them...it's too late.
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I am not the editor of a newspaper and shall always try to do right and be good so that God will not make me one.
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Optimist: Person who travels on nothing from nowhere to happiness.
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Between us, we cover all knowledge he knows all that can be known and I know the rest.
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If the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Everything comes there ten years later.
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Do right and you will be conspicuous.
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I'm pushing 60 years of age...and that's enough exercise for me.
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