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The funniest things are the forbidden.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Forbidden
Novelists
Humorous
Humor
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Funniest
More quotes by Mark Twain
A gentleman is someone who knows how to play the banjo and doesn't.
Mark Twain
Morals consist of political morals, commercial morals, ecclesiastical morals, and morals.
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It is agreed, in this country, that if a man can arrange his religion so that it perfectly satisfies his conscience, it is not incumbent on him to care whether the arrangement is satisfactory to anyone else or not.
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An ecstasy is a thing that will not go into words it feels like music.
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Humorists of the 'mere' sort cannot survive. Humor is only a fragrance, a decoration.
Mark Twain
There has never been a Protestant boy nor a Protestant girl whose mind the Bible has not soiled.
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We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.
Mark Twain
Tom appeared on the sidewalk with a bucket of whitewash and a long-handled brush. He surveyed the fence, and all gladness left him and a deep melancholy settled down upon his spirit. Thirty yards of board fence nine feet high. Life to him seemed hollow, and existence but a burden.
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It is strange the way the ignorant and inexperienced so often and so undeservedly succeed when the informed and the experienced fail.
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One must travel, to learn.
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It’s not the good that die young, it’s the lucky.
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We recognize that there are no trivial occurrences in life if we get the right focus on them.
Mark Twain
The country is the real thing, the substantial thing, the eternal thing, it is the thing to watch over and care for and be loyal to institutions are extraneous. . . .
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When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.
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Gratitude is a debt which usually goes on accumulating like blackmail the more you pay, the more is exacted.
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The solution to our water problems is more rain.
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His ignorance covers the world like a blanket, and there's scarcely a hole in it anywhere.
Mark Twain
There is no such thing as a new idea. We simply take a lot of old ideas and put them into a sort of mental kaleidoscope.
Mark Twain
We Americans are the most lavish and showiest and most luxury loving people on the earth and at our masthead we fly one true and honest symbol, the gaudiest flag the world has ever seen.
Mark Twain
Do not undervalue the headache. While it is at its sharpest it seems a bad investment but when relief begins, the unexpired remainder is worth $4 a minute.
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