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Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Accounts
Interest
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Money
Men
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Generate
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Bank
More quotes by Mark Twain
Nothing is made in vain, but the fly came near it.
Mark Twain
The Germans are exceedingly fond of Rhine wines they are put up in tall, slender bottles, and are considered a pleasant beverage. One tells them from vinegar by the label.
Mark Twain
Damn the subjunctive. It brings all our writers to shame.
Mark Twain
I was standing in our dining-room thinking of nothing in particular, when a cablegram was put into my hand. It said, 'Susy was peacefully released today.' It is one of the mysteries of our nature that a man, all unprepared, can receive a thunder-stroke like that and live.
Mark Twain
...there isn't often anything in Wagner opera that one would call by such a violent name as acting.
Mark Twain
It isn't safe to sit in judgment upon another person's illusion when you are not on the inside. While you are thinking it is a dream, he may be knowing it is a planet.
Mark Twain
But in this country we have one great privilege which they don't have in other countries. When a thing gets to be absolutely unbearable the people can rise up and throw it off. That's the finest asset we've got - the ballot box.
Mark Twain
Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.
Mark Twain
She is not refined. She is not unrefined. She keeps a parrot
Mark Twain
I am the entire human race compacted together. I have found that there is no ingredient of the race which I do not possess in either a small way or a large way.
Mark Twain
Imagination labors best in distant fields.
Mark Twain
Whenever a copyright law is to be made or altered, then the idiots assemble.
Mark Twain
I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get the same money for cop.
Mark Twain
The Book of Mormon is chloroform in print
Mark Twain
I was exceedingly delighted with the waltz, and also with the polka. These differ in name, but there the difference ceases
Mark Twain
July 4. Statistics show that we lose more fools on this day than in all the other days of the year put together. This proves, by the number left in stock, that one fourth of July per year is now inadequate, the country has grown so
Mark Twain
Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.
Mark Twain
Names are not always what they seem.
Mark Twain
Laughter is the greatest weapon we have and we, as humans, use it the least.
Mark Twain
Jane Austen's books, too, are absent from this library. Just that one omission alone would make a fairly good library out of a library that hadn't a book in it.
Mark Twain
