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Are you so unobservant as not to have found out that sanity and happiness are an impossible combination?

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Found
Unobservant
Sanity
Combination
Impossible
Happiness

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If God had meant for us to be naked, we'd have been born that way.
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Thanksgiving Day - Let all give humble, hearty, and sincere thanks, now, but the turkeys. In the island of Fiji they do not use turkeys, they use plumbers. It does not become you and me to sneer at Fiji.
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Deep down in me I knowed it was a lie, and He knowed it. You can't pray a lie - I found that out.
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The truth hurts, but silence kills.
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If you want love and abundance in your life, give it away.
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The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
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They did not know it was impossible so they did it
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Honest poverty is a gem that even a king might be proud to call his own - but I wish to sell out
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As a rule we develop a borrowed European idea forward, and ... Europe develops a borrowed American idea backwards.
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Damn these human beings if I had invented them I would go hide my head in a bag.
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My own luck has been curious all my literary life I never could tell a lie that anyone would doubt, nor a truth that anybody would believe.
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Shall we go on conferring our Civilization upon the peoples that sit in darkness, or shall we give those poor things a rest?
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There is no urge so great as for one man to edit another man's work.
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A joke, even if it be a lame one, is nowhere so keenly relished or quickly applauded as in a murder trial.
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I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie I can, but I won't.
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The humorous story is American, the comic story is English, the witty story is French. The humorous story depends for its effect upon the manner of the tellingthe comic and the witty story upon the matter.
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Only a government that is rich and safe can afford to be a democracy, for democracy is the most expensive and nefarious kind of government ever heard of on earth
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