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Are you so unobservant as not to have found out that sanity and happiness are an impossible combination?

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Impossible
Happiness
Found
Unobservant
Sanity
Combination

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He was such a good man that people hated to see him coming.
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Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
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I have never examined the subject of humor until now. I am surprised to find how much ground it covers. I have got its divisions and frontiers down on a piece of paper. I find it defined as a production of the brain, as the power of the brain to produce something humorous, and the capacity of percieving humor.
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I have thought many times since that if poets when they get discouraged would blow their brains out, they could write very much better when they got well.
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The introduction of homeopathy forced the old school doctor to stir around and learn something of a rational nature about his business. You may honestly feel grateful that homeopathy survived the attempts of the allopaths to destroy it.
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It's so damned humiliating.
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It is a pity we can't escape from life when we are young.
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Humor, to be comprehensible to anybody, must be built upon a foundation with which he is familiar. If he can't see the foundation the superstructure is to him merely a freak -- like the Flatiron building without any visible means of support -- something that ought to be arrested.
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I've seen many troubles in my time, only half of which ever came true.
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There are two things nobody should ever have to watch being made, sausage and laws.
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Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates.
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I am only human, although I regret it.
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I would not read the proof of one of my books for any fair & reasonable sum whatever, if I could get out of it. The proof-reading on the P & Pauper cost me the last rags of my religion.
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Stars and shadows ain't good to see by.
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Wit and Humor - if any difference, it is in duration - lightning and electric light. Same material, apparently but one is vivid, and can do damage - the other fools along and enjoys elaboration.
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