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God, so atrocious in the Old Testament, so attractive in the New--the Jekyl and Hyde of sacred romance.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Attractive
Romance
God
Sacred
Atrocious
Hyde
Testament

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You perceive I generalize with intrepidity from single instances. It is the tourist's custom.
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The laws of Nature take precedence of all human laws. The purpose of all human laws is one - to defeat the laws of Nature. This is the case among all the nations, both civilized and savage. It is a grotesquerie, but when the human race is not grotesque it is because it is asleep and losing its opportunity.
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Men are easily dealt with--but when you get the women started, you are in for it, you know.
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What a world of trouble those who never marry escape! There are many happy matches, it is true, and sometimes my dear, and my love come from the heart but what sensible bachelor, rejoicing in his freedom and years of discretion, will run the tremendous risk?
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If the man doesn't believe as we do, we say he is a crank, and that settles it. I mean, it does nowadays, because now we can't burn him.
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Surely the ass who invented the first religion ought to be the first ass damned
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Sufficient unto the day is one baby. As long as you are in your right mind don't you ever pray for twins. Twins amount to a permanent riot and there ain't any real difference between triplets and a insurrection. - The Babies speech 1879
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Sometimes people do get hurt
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The lie, as a virtue, a principle, is eternal the lie, as a recreation, a solace, a refuge in time of need, the fourth Grace, the tenth Muse, man's best and surest friend is immortal
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I've seen many troubles in my time, only half of which ever came true.
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Many people have the reasoning facility, but no one uses it in religious matters.
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There are 869 different forms of lying, but only one of them has been squarely forbidden. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.
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One can enjoy a rainbow without necessarily forgetting the forces that made it.
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But it was ever thus, all through my life: whenever I have diverged from custom and principle and uttered a truth, the rule has been that the hearer hadn't strength of mind enough to believe it.
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A half-educated physician is not valuable. He thinks he can cure everything.
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The first time a student realizes that a little learning is a dangerous thing is when he brings home a poor report card.
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Consider the average intelligence of the common man, then realize 50% are even stupider.
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There was things which he stretched, but mainly he told the truth.
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When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
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If you would beseech a blessing upon yourself, beware! lest without intent you invoke a curse upon a neighbor at the same time.
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