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God, so atrocious in the Old Testament, so attractive in the New--the Jekyl and Hyde of sacred romance.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Hyde
Testament
Attractive
Romance
God
Sacred
Atrocious

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To be satisfied with what one has that is wealth.
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A railroad is like a lie you have to keep building it to make it stand.
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What's the use you learning to do right , when it's troublesome to do right and it ain't no trouble to do wrong, and the wages is just the same?
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History has tried hard to teach us that we can't have good government under politicians. Now, to go and stick one at the very head of the government couldn't be wise.
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High and fine literature is wine, and mine is only water but everybody likes water.
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There is only one good sex. The female one.
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Talent without work is useless, thank God
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It has taken a weary long time to persuade American Presbyterians to give up infant damnation and try to bear it the best they can.
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Are you so unobservant as not to have found out that sanity and happiness are an impossible combination?
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Do right and you will be conspicuous.
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Every time you stop a school, you will have to build a jail.
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It is best to read the weather forecast before praying for rain.
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Newport, Rhode Island, that breeding place-that stud farm, so to speak-of aristocracy aristocracy of the American type.
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But I reckon I got to light out for the Territory ahead of therest, because Aunt Sally she's going to adopt me and sivilize me, and I can't stand it. I been there before.
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A powerful agent is the right word: it lights the reader's way and makes it plain.
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The gentle reader will never, never know what a consummate ass he can become until he goes abroad.
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I think I can say, and say with pride, that we have some legislatures that bring higher prices than any in the world.
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The world has corrected the Bible. The church never corrects it and also never fails to drop in at the tail of the procession-and take the credit of the correction.
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I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want.
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Habit is habit, and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed down-stairs one step at a time.
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