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What God lacks is convictions- stability of character. He ought to be a Presbyterian or a Catholic or something- not try to be everything.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
God
Presbyterian
Atheism
Presbyterians
Ought
Lacks
Character
Convictions
Everything
Stability
Trying
Atheist
Something
Conviction
Catholic

More quotes by Mark Twain

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If we would learn what the human race really is at bottom, we need only observe it in election times.
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I was sorry to have my name mentioned as one of the great authors, because they have a sad habit of dying off. Chaucer is dead, Spencer is dead, so is Milton, so is Shakespeare, and I’m not feeling so well myself.
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The pulpit and the optimist are always talking about the human race's steady march toward ultimate perfection. As usual, they leave out the statistics. It is the pulpit's way - the optimist's way.
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None but an ass pays a compliment and asks a favour at the same time. There are many asses.
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Ethical man: A Christian holding four aces.
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Life is but a dream, a grotesque and foolish dream.
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There are two times in a man's life when he should not speculate: when he can't afford it, and when he can.
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Out of the depths of my happy heart wells a great tide of love and prayer for this priceless treasure that is confided to my lifelong keeping. You cannot see its waves as they flow toward you, darling, but in these lines you will hear...the distant beating of its surf.
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It is a good and gentle religion, but inconvenient.
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I try never to let my schooling get in the way of my education.
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We Americans... bear the ark of liberties of the world.
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In the ancient city of London, on a certain autumn day in the second quarter of the sixteenth century, a boy was born to a poor family of the name of Canty, who did not want him.
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The more things are forbidden, the more popular they become.
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I would like to live in Manchester, England. The transition between Manchester and death would be unnoticeable.
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Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July and as a rule they don't know what happened on either occasion.
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Whiskey is carried into committee rooms in demijohns and carried out in demagogues.
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A person who has a cat by the tail knows a whole lot more about cats than someone who has just read about them.
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The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow.
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But it was ever thus, all through my life: whenever I have diverged from custom and principle and uttered a truth, the rule has been that the hearer hadn't strength of mind enough to believe it.
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There's always a hole in theories somewhere if you look close enough.
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