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What God lacks is convictions- stability of character. He ought to be a Presbyterian or a Catholic or something- not try to be everything.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Ought
Lacks
Character
Convictions
Everything
Stability
Trying
Atheist
Something
Conviction
Catholic
God
Presbyterian
Atheism
Presbyterians

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Obscurity and a competence—that is the life that is best worth living.
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You can never find a Christian who has acquired this valuable knowledge, this saving knowledge, by any process but the everlasting and all-sufficient 'people say.'
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Write without pay until somebody offers to pay.
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If you have nothing to say, say nothing.
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The nation is divided, half patriots and half traitors, and no man can tell which from which.
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Some of us cannot be optimists, but all of us can be bigamists
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To get the full value of joy You must have someone to divide it with. After all these years I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning it is better to live outside the Garden with her than inside it without her.
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Never pick a fight with people who buy ink by the barrel.
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A newspaper is not just for reporting the news as it is, but to make people mad enough to do something about it.
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The common eye sees only the outside of things, and judges by that, but the seeing eye pierces through and reads the heart and the soul, finding there capacities which the outside didn't indicate or promise, and which the other kind of eye couldn't detect.
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Rags, wretchedness, poverty and dirt, those signs and symbols that indicate the presence of [Muslim] rule more surely than the crescent-flag itself, abound.
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Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.
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If you would beseech a blessing upon yourself, beware! lest without intent you invoke a curse upon a neighbor at the same time.
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But the elastic heart of youth cannot be compressed into one constrained shape long at a time.
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It used to be a good hotel, but that proves nothing - I used to be a good boy.
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No one can tell me what is a good cigar--for me. I am the only judge... There are no standards--no real standards. Each man's preference is the only standard for him, the only one which he can accept, the only one which can command him.
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One frequently only finds out how really beautiful a really beautiful woman is after considerable acquaintance with her and the rule applies to Niagara Falls, to majestic mountains, and to mosques-especially to mosques.
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Wit and Humor - if any difference, it is in duration - lightning and electric light. Same material, apparently but one is vivid, and can do damage - the other fools along and enjoys elaboration.
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