Quote

More than once I have been humiliated by my resemblance to God the father He is always longing for the love of His children and trying to get it on the cheapest and laziest terms He can invent.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Children
Humiliated
Trying
Resemblance
Always
Invent
Love
Longing
God
Terms
Term
Laziest
Father
Cheapest

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I am always reading immoral books on the sly, and then selfishly trying to prevent other people from having the same wicked good time.
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Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
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The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.
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There ought to be a room in every house to swear in. It's dangerous to have to repress an emotion like that.
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The gentle reader will never, never know what a consummate ass he can become until he goes abroad.
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The joy of killing! the joy of seeing killing done - these are traits of the human race at large.
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An author values a compliment even when it comes from a source of doubtful competency.
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When I am king they shall not have bread and shelter only, but also teachings out of books, for a full belly is little worth where the mind is starved.
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Concentration of power in a political machine is bad and an Established Church is only a political machine it was invented for that it is nursed, cradled, preserved for that it is an enemy to human liberty, and does no good which it could not better do in a split-up and scattered condition.
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If I had more time, I would have written less.
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They all laid their heads together like as many lawyers when they are gettin' ready to prove that a man's heirs ain't got any right to his property.
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While the rest of the species is descended from apes, redheads are descended from cats.
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Yes, always avoid violence. In this age of charity and kindliness, the time has gone by for such things. Leave dynamite to the low and unrefined.
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God rewards gamblers and fools. The crucial thing, when you win, is knowing which you were.
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As a boy, I once saw a cart of melons that sorely tempted me. I sneaked up to the cart and stole a melon. I went into the alley to devour it, but no sooner had I set my teeth into it, than I paused, a strange feeling coming over me. I came to a quick conclusion. Firmly, I walked up to that cart, replaced the melon - and took a ripe one.
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The catfish is Plenty good enough fish for anyone
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Optimist: day-dreamer in his small clothes.
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We have the best government that money can buy.
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If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.
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Every time I read a Jane Austen novel, I feel like a bartender at the gates of heaven.
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