Quote

More than once I have been humiliated by my resemblance to God the father He is always longing for the love of His children and trying to get it on the cheapest and laziest terms He can invent.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Father
Cheapest
Children
Humiliated
Trying
Resemblance
Always
Invent
Love
Longing
God
Terms
Term
Laziest

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Humorists of the 'mere' sort cannot survive. Humor is only a fragrance, a decoration.
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My experience with horses is that they never throw away a chance to go lame.
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A big leather-bound volume makes an ideal razorstrap. A thing book is useful to stick under a table with a broken caster to steady it. A large, flat atlas can be used to cover a window with a broken pane. And a thick, old-fashioned heavy book with a clasp is the finest thing in the world to throw at a noisy cat.
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A crime persevered in a thousand centuries ceases to be a crime, and becomes a virtue. This is the law of custom, and custom supersedes all other forms of law.
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The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow.
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If true, rarely beautiful. If beautiful, rarely true.
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No public interest is anything other or nobler than a massed accumulation of private interests.
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In my schoolboy days I had no aversion to slavery. I was not aware there was anything wrong about it. No-one arraigned it in my hearing the local papers said nothing against it the local pulpit taught us that God approved it, that it was a holy thing, and that the doubter need only look in the Bible if he wished to settle his mind.
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I said nothing of the sort.
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We all like to see people sea-sick when we are not ourselves.
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Go and surprise the whole country by doing something right.
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Balloon: Thing to take meteroric observations and commit suicide with.
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Fortune knocks at every man's door once in a life, but in a good many cases the man is in a neighboring saloon and does not hear her.
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She is not refined. She is not unrefined. She keeps a parrot
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Heaven is the very last place to come to rest and don't you be afraid to bet on that!
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Surely the test of a novel's characters is that you feel a strong interest in them and their affairs the good to be successful, the bad to suffer failure. Well, in John Ward, you feel no divided interest, no discriminating interest you want them all to land in hell together, and right away.
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The truth is a precious commodity. That's why I use it so sparingly.
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Have a place for everything and keep the thing somewhere else. This is not advice, it is merely custom.
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Man will do many things to get himself loved, he will do all things to get himself envied.
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I have been an author for 20 years and an ass for 55.
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