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More than once I have been humiliated by my resemblance to God the father He is always longing for the love of His children and trying to get it on the cheapest and laziest terms He can invent.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Always
Invent
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Longing
God
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Laziest
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Cheapest
Children
Humiliated
Trying
Resemblance
More quotes by Mark Twain
The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.
Mark Twain
And how moving is the eloquence of the untaught when it is the heart that is speaking!
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The only people who should use the possessive 'we' are kings, newspaper editors, and persons with tapeworms.
Mark Twain
Benaras is older than history, older than tradition, older even than legend, and looks twice as old as all of them put together!
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That is a simple rule, and easy to remember. When I, a thoughtful and unblessed Presbyterian, examine the Koran, I know that beyond any question every Mohammedan is insane not in all things, but in religious matters.
Mark Twain
Whiskey is carried into committee rooms in demijohns and carried out in demagogues.
Mark Twain
Inherited ideas are a curious thing, and interesting to observe and examine.
Mark Twain
If the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Everything comes there ten years later.
Mark Twain
We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.
Mark Twain
Tea is an affront to lunch and an insult to dinner.
Mark Twain
Wisdom teaches us that none but birds should go out early, and that not even birds should do it unless they are out of worms.
Mark Twain
Be respectful to your superiors, if you have any.
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Such is professional jealousy a scientist will never show any kindness for a theory which he did not start himself.
Mark Twain
I couldn't bear to think about it and yet, somehow, I couldn't think about nothing else.
Mark Twain
Let us consider that we are all insane. It will explain us to each other. It will unriddle many riddles
Mark Twain
Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.
Mark Twain
Jim said that bees won't sting idiots, but I didn't believe that, because I tried them lots of times myself and they wouldn't sting me.
Mark Twain
There are those who would misteach us that to stick in a rut is consistency - and a virtue, and that to climb out of the rut is inconsistency - and a vice.
Mark Twain
Apparently one of the most uncertain things in the world is the funeral of a religion.
Mark Twain
I should be sorry to think it was the publishers themselves they got up this entire little flutter to enable them to unload a book that was taking too much room in their cellars, but you can never tell what a publisher will do. I have been one myself.
Mark Twain
