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It is a solemn thought: dead, the noblest man's meat is inferior to pork.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Thought
Pork
Men
Noblest
Inferior
Inferiors
Solemn
Meat
Dead
Death
More quotes by Mark Twain
The exquisitely bad is as satisfying to the soul as the exquisitely good. Only the mediocre is unendurable.
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I am not interested to know whether vivisection produces results that are profitable to the human race or doesn't...The pain which it inflicts upon unconsenting animals is the basis of my enmity toward it, and it is to me sufficient justification of the enmity without looking further.
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Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot. BY ORDER OF THE AUTHOR per G.G., CHIEF OF ORDNANCE
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To write without pay until somebody offers pay. If nobody offers pay within three years, the candidate may look upon this circumstance with the most implicit confidence as the sign that sawing wood is what he was intended for.
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...heaven for climate, and hell for society.
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The political and commercial morals of the United States are not merely food for laughter, they are an entire banquet.
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To refuse awards is another way of accepting them with more noise than is normal.
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Strip the human race, absolutely naked, and it would be a real democracy. But the introduction of even a rag of tiger skin, or a cowtail, could make a badge of distinction and be the beginning of a monarchy.
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Man has imagined a heaven, and has left entirely out of it the supremest of all his delights...sexual intercourse!...His heaven is like himself: strange, interesting, astonishing, grotesque. I give you my word, it has not a single feature in it that he actually values.
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Habit is habit, and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed down-stairs one step at a time.
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Courage is not the absence of fear, but the mastery of it.
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Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man's enjoyment of his cigar.
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Never pick a fight with people who buy ink by the barrel.
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I saw men whom thirty years had changed but slightly but their wives had grown old. These were good women it is very wearing to be good.
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I have found out that there ain't no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.
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I have seen slower people than I am and more deliberate... and even quieter, and more listless, and lazier people than I am. But they were dead.
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The sole impulse which dictates and compels a man's every act: the imperious necessity of securing his own approval, in every emergency and at all costs.... It is our only spur, our whip, our goad, our impelling power we have no other.
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Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress but I repeat myself.
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Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.
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Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.
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