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How lovely is death and how niggardly it is doled out.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Lovely
Death
Doled

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The most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.
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If I were going to construct a God I would furnish him with some ways and qualities and characteristics which the Present One lacks... He would spend some of His eternities in trying to forgive Himself for making man unhappy when He could have made him happy with the same effort and He would spend the rest of them in studying astronomy.
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Tom appeared on the sidewalk with a bucket of whitewash and a long-handled brush. He surveyed the fence, and all gladness left him and a deep melancholy settled down upon his spirit. Thirty yards of board fence nine feet high. Life to him seemed hollow, and existence but a burden.
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Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.
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Our lives, our liberty, and our property are never in greater danger than when Congress is in session.
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It is a good and gentle religion, but inconvenient.
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What a curious kind of fool a girl is. Never been licked in school. What's a licking?
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We all like to see people sea-sick when we are not ourselves.
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Grief can take care if itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.
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The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
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Many people have the reasoning facility, but no one uses it in religious matters.
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The time to begin writing an article is when you have finished it to your satisfaction. By that time you begin to clearly and logically perceive what it is you really want to say.
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There are 869 different forms of lying, but only one of them has been squarely forbidden. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.
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I have learned that human existence is essentially tragic. It is only the love of God, disclosed and enacted in Christ, that redeems the human tragedy and makes it tolerable. No, more than tolerable. Wonderful.
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Do something everyday that you don't want to do this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.
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To get the right word in the right place is a rare achievement.
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Canadian girls are so pretty it's a relief now and then to see a plain one.
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At 50, a man can be an ass without being an optimist but not an optimist without being an ass
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A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read.
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When the end of the world comes, I want to be in Kentucky, because everything there happens 20 years after it happens anywhere else.
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