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How lovely is death and how niggardly it is doled out.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Doled
Lovely
Death

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There was never yet an uninteresting life. Such a thing is an impossibility. Inside of the dullest exterior there is a drama, a comedy, and a tragedy.
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There ain't nothing more to write about and I'm rotten glad of it, because if I'd know'd what trouble it was to make a book, I wouldn't a tackled it.
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A dollar picked up in the road is more satisfaction to you than the ninety-and -nine which you had to work for, and money won at faro or in stock snuggles into your heart in the same way.
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Until I came to New Mexico, I never realized how much beauty water adds to a river.
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But in this country we have one great privilege which they don't have in other countries. When a thing gets to be absolutely unbearable the people can rise up and throw it off. That's the finest asset we've got - the ballot box.
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But I reckon I got to light out for the Territory ahead of therest, because Aunt Sally she's going to adopt me and sivilize me, and I can't stand it. I been there before.
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... No photograph ever was good, yet, of anybody - hunger and thirst and utter wretchedness overtake the outlaw who invented it! It transforms into desperadoes the weakest of men depicts sinless innocence upon the pictured faces of ruffians gives the wise man the stupid leer of a fool, and the fool an expression of more than earthly wisdom.
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I could be an idiot, or I can serve in Congress, but I repeat myself.
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There is not a single human characteristic that can be safely labeled as American.
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Ethical man: A Christian holding four aces.
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Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.
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If you've got a nice fresh corpse, fetch him out!
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Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain't that a big enough majority in any town?
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Man can seldom - very, very, seldom - fight a winning fight against his training the odds are too heavy.
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It takes me a long time to lose my temper, but once lost I could not find it with a dog.
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Additional problems are the offspring of poor solutions.
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You cannot have all chiefs you gotta have Indians too. Perfect love cannot be without equality. A friend to everybody and to nobody is the same thing. We are all alike, on the inside.
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A monarch, when good, is entitled to the consideration which we accord to a pirate who keeps Sunday School between crimes when bad, he is entitled to none at all.
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All Congresses and Parliaments have a kindly feeling for idiots, and a compassion for them, on account of personal experience and heredity.
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Seasickness: at first you are so sick you are afraid you will die, and then you are so sick you are afraid you won't die.
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