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The altar cloth of one aeon is the doormat of the next.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Altars
Religion
Science
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Altar

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Ignorance, intolerance, egotism, self-assertion, opaque perception, dense and pitiful chuckle headedness - and an almost pathetic unconsciousness of it all, that is what I was at nineteen and twenty.
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Damn these human beings if I had invented them I would go hide my head in a bag.
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It makes one hope and believe that a day will come when, in the eye of the law, literary property will be as sacred as whiskey, or any other of the necessaries of life. It grieves me to think how far more profound and reverent a respect the law would have for literature if a body could only get drunk on it.
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A pessimist is a well-informed optimist.
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The most outrageous lies that can be invented will find believers if a person only tells them with all his might.
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You can't break a bad habit by throwing it out the window. You've got to walk it slowly down the stairs.
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It is hard enough luck being a monarch, without being a target also.
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Whenever a copyright law is to be made or altered, then the idiots assemble.
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Are you so unobservant as not to have found out that sanity and happiness are an impossible combination?
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Those who say truth is stranger than fiction have wasted their time on poorly written fiction.
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Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.
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When an audience does not complain, it is a compliment, and when it does, it is a compliment, too, if unaccompanied by violence.
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In all my travels the thing that has impressed me the most is the universal brotherhood of man-what there is of it.
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Is a person's public and private opinion the same? It is thought there have been instances.
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I'm pushing 60 years of age...and that's enough exercise for me.
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Italy is the home of art and swindling home of religion and moral rottenness
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You perceive I generalize with intrepidity from single instances. It is the tourist's custom.
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Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.
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