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If work were so pleasant, the rich would keep it for themselves.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Keep
Change
Work
Would
Pleasant
Inspiring
Rich

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As a rule we develop a borrowed European idea forward, and ... Europe develops a borrowed American idea backwards.
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In all my travels the thing that has impressed me the most is the universal brotherhood of man-what there is of it.
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We despise all reverences and all objects of reverence which are outside the pale of our list of sacred things. And yet, with strange inconsistency, we are shocked when other people despise and defile the things which are holy to us.
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While the rest of the species is descended from apes, redheads are descended from cats.
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If a spectacle is going to be particularly imposing I prefer to see it through somebody else's eyes, because that man will always exaggerate. Then I can exaggerate his exaggeration, and my account of the thing will be the most impressive.
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Love is not a product of reasonings and statistics. It just comes-none knows whence-and cannot explain itself.
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Man is the only animal that is cruel. It kills just for the sake of it.
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Sufficient unto the day is one baby. As long as you are in your right mind don't you ever pray for twins. Twins amount to a permanent riot and there ain't any real difference between triplets and a insurrection. - The Babies speech 1879
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Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.
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Out of the unconscious lips of babes and sucklings are we satirized.
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Names are not always what they seem. The common Welsh name Bzjxxllwcp is pronounced Jackson.
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Learn from the mistakes of others - you won't live long enough to make them all yourself. He's opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer him the position.
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One is apt to overestimate beauty when it is rare
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When a man arrives at great prosperity God did it: when he falls into disaster he did it himself.
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It makes one hope and believe that a day will come when, in the eye of the law, literary property will be as sacred as whiskey, or any other of the necessaries of life. It grieves me to think how far more profound and reverent a respect the law would have for literature if a body could only get drunk on it.
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Never miss an opportunity to shut up.
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Thanksgiving day. Let us all give humble, hearty, and sincere thanks now, but the turkeys.
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Therein lies the defect of revenge: it's all in the anticipation the thing itself is a pain, not a pleasure at least the pain is the biggest end of it.
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Oh Death where is thy sting! It has none. But life has.
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