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If work were so pleasant, the rich would keep it for themselves.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Keep
Change
Work
Would
Pleasant
Inspiring
Rich

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What God lacks is convictions- stability of character. He ought to be a Presbyterian or a Catholic or something- not try to be everything.
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I have done more for San Francisco than any of its old residents. Since I left there it has increased in population fully 300,000. I could have done more - I could have gone earlier - it was suggested.
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I am always reading immoral books on the sly, and then selfishly trying to prevent other people from having the same wicked good time.
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The human race consists of the damned and the ought-to-be damned.
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July 4. Statistics show that we lose more fools on this day than in all the other days of the year put together. This proves, by the number left in stock, that one fourth of July per year is now inadequate, the country has grown so
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Nature knows no indecencies man invents them.
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Better a broken promise than none at all.
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Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
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Plain question and plain answer make the shortest road out of most perplexities.
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Optimist: Person who travels on nothing from nowhere to happiness.
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The kingly office is entitled to no respect. It was originally procured by the highwayman's methods. It remains a perpetuated crime, can never be anything but the symbol of a crime. It is no more entitled to respect than is the flag of a pirate.
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Doesn't make any difference who we are or what we are, there's always somebody to look down on.
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It makes one hope and believe that a day will come when, in the eye of the law, literary property will be as sacred as whiskey, or any other of the necessaries of life. It grieves me to think how far more profound and reverent a respect the law would have for literature if a body could only get drunk on it.
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Human beings seem to be a poor invention. If they are the noblest works of God where is the ignoblest?
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A group of men in evening clothes looks like a flock of crows, and is just about as inspiring.
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From the dome of St. Peter's one can see every notable object in Rome... He can see a panorama that is varied, extensive, beautiful to the eye, and more illustrious in history than any other in Europe.
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The secret of success is making your vocation your vacation.
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Every man has a secret ambition: To outsmart horses, fish and women.
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The election makes me think of a story of a man who was dying. He had only two minutes to live, so he sent for a clergyman and asked him, Where is the best place to go to? He was undecided about it. So the minister told him that each place had its advantages--heaven for climate, and hell for society.
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