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If work were so pleasant, the rich would keep it for themselves.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Work
Would
Pleasant
Inspiring
Rich
Keep
Change

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July 4. Statistics show that we lose more fools on this day than in all the other days of the year put together. This proves, by the number left in stock, that one fourth of July per year is now inadequate, the country has grown so
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Adam did not want the apple for the apple's sake he wanted it because it was forbidden.
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To write without pay until somebody offers pay. If nobody offers pay within three years, the candidate may look upon this circumstance with the most implicit confidence as the sign that sawing wood is what he was intended for.
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My sister...was an interested and zealous invalid during sixty-five years, tried all the new diseases as fast as they came out, and always enjoyed the newest one more than any that went before my brother had accumulated forty-two brands of Christianity before he was called away.
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Make your mark in New York and you are a made man.
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By and by when each nation has 20,000 battleships and 5,000,000 soldiers we shall all be safe and the wisdom of statesmanship will stand confirmed.
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I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want.
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No man that has ever lived has done a thing to please God--primarily. It was done to please himself, then God next.
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When an audience does not complain, it is a compliment, and when it does, it is a compliment, too, if unaccompanied by violence.
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Frankness is a jewel only the young can afford it.
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My land, the power of training! Of influence! Of education! It can bring a body up to believe anything.
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An author values a compliment even when it comes from a source of doubtful competency.
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A better idea than my own is to listen.
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If you don't like the weather in New England now, just wait a few minutes.
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Imagination labors best in distant fields.
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Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.
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I have no race prejudices, and I think I have no color prejudices or caste prejudices nor creed prejudices. Indeed I know it. I can stand any society. All that I care to know is that a man is a human being-that is enough for me he can't be any worse.
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I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get the same money for cop.
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The piano may do for love-sick girls who lace themselves to skeletons, and lunch on chalk, pickles and slate pencils, but give me the banjo.
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How empty is theory in the presence of fact!
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