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I'm glad I did it, partly because it was worth it, but mostly because I shall never have to do it again.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Inspirational
Never
Partly
Mostly
Glad
Achievement
Worth
Shall

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You can never find a Christian who has acquired this valuable knowledge, this saving knowledge, by any process but the everlasting and all-sufficient 'people say.'
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Once you've put one of his [Henry James] books down, you simply can't pick it up again.
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Comedy keeps the heart sweet but we all know that there is wholesome refreshment for both mind and heart in an occasional climb among the pomps of the intellectual snow-summits built by Shakespeare and those others.
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The history of our race, and each individual’s experience, are sown thick with evidence that a truth is not hard to kill and that a lie told well is immortal.
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Switzerland is simply a large, lumpy, solid rock with a thin skin of grass stretched over it.
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The catfish is Plenty good enough fish for anyone
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If we learned to walk and talk the way we learn to read and write, everyone would limp and stutter.
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Life is short. Forgive quickly, kiss slowly and love truly.
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There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce.
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We all belong to the nasty stinking little human race, & of course it is not nice for God's beloved vermin to scoff at each other... Oh, we are a nasty little lot-& to think there are people who would like to save us & continue us. It won't happen if I have any influence.
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What a world of trouble those who never marry escape! There are many happy matches, it is true, and sometimes my dear, and my love come from the heart but what sensible bachelor, rejoicing in his freedom and years of discretion, will run the tremendous risk?
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I do not wish any reward but to know I have done the right thing.
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You perceive I generalize with intrepidity from single instances. It is the tourist's custom.
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Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.
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There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one - keep from telling their happiness to the unhappy.
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That is a simple rule, and easy to remember. When I, a thoughtful and unblessed Presbyterian, examine the Koran, I know that beyond any question every Mohammedan is insane not in all things, but in religious matters.
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Praise is well, compliment is well, but affection-that is the last and most precious reward that any man can win, whether by character or achievement.
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Well, no doubt it's a blessed thing to have an imagination that can always make you satisfied, no matter how you are fixed.
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A good memory and a tongue tied in the middle is a combination which gives immortality to conversation.
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Children have but little charity for one another's defects
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