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Tomorrow night I appear for the first time before a Boston audience - 4000 critics.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Critics
Tomorrow
Audience
Night
Firsts
First
Time
Boston
Appear

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'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read.
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If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat.
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Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.
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Germany, the diseased world's bathhouse.
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Truth is stranger than fiction-to some people, but I am measurably familiar with it.
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God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.
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Courage is not the lack of fear. It is acting in spite of it.
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Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.
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Circumstances make man, not man circumstances.
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The two Testaments are interesting, each in its own way. The Old one gives us a picture of these people's Deity as he was before he got religion, the other one gives us a picture of him as he appeared afterward.
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Hardly a man in the world has an opinion upon morals, political, or religion which he got otherwise than through his associations and sympathies.
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There is not an acre of ground on the globe that is in possession of its rightful owner, or that has not been taken away from owner after owner, cycle afer cycle, by force and bloodshed.
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No one can tell me what is a good cigar - for me. I am the only judge. People who claim to know say that I smoke the worst cigars in the world. They bring their own cigars when they come to my house.
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His money is twice tainted: taint yours and taint mine.
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Don't just sit there and worry. Be proactive. Do something - anything - about what's worrying you so you can gain information, focus and control over the situation. I've suffered a great many catastrophes in my life. Most of them never happened.
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I have tried getting up early, and I have tried getting up late-and the latter agrees with me best.
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The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and starting on the first one.
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In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.
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Every man is a moon and has a side which he turns toward nobody: you have to slip around behind it if you want to see it.
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Writing is easy. All you have to do is cross out the wrong words.
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