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A lie can make it half way around the world before the truth has time to put its boots on.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Make
Time
Boots
World
Lying
Society
Half
Around
Truth
Way

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There is only one expert who is qualified to examine the souls and the life of a people and make a valuable report - the native novelist. ... And when a thousand able novels have been written, there you have the soul of the people and not anywhere else can these be had.
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There is nothing to be learned from the second kick of a mule.
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That is just the way with some people. They get down on a thing when they don’t know nothing about it.
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There are those who would misteach us that to stick in a rut is consistency - and a virtue, and that to climb out of the rut is inconsistency - and a vice.
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To write without pay until somebody offers pay. If nobody offers pay within three years, the candidate may look upon this circumstance with the most implicit confidence as the sign that sawing wood is what he was intended for.
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A mine is a hole in the ground with a liar on top.
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The only certainties in life are death and taxes.
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And how moving is the eloquence of the untaught when it is the heart that is speaking!
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I would have written a shorter letter, but I did not have the time.
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An author values a compliment even when it comes from a source of doubtful competency.
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If I were going to construct a God I would furnish him with some ways and qualities and characteristics which the Present One lacks... He would spend some of His eternities in trying to forgive Himself for making man unhappy when He could have made him happy with the same effort and He would spend the rest of them in studying astronomy.
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So far as I am able to judge, nothing has been left undone, either by man or nature, to make India the most extraordinary country that the sun visits on his rounds. Nothing seems to have been forgotten, nothing overlooked.
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Cherimoya, the most delicious fruit known to men.
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When politics enter into municipal government, nothing resulting therefrom in the way of crimes and infamies is then incredible. It actually enables one to accept and believe the impossible.
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When the time comes that a man has had his dinner, then the true man comes to the surface
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Thanksgiving day. Let us all give humble, hearty, and sincere thanks now, but the turkeys.
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Politicians, old buildings, and prostitutes become respectable with age.
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If you've got a nice fresh corpse, fetch him out!
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In my experience, previously counted chickens never do hatch.
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Constellations have always been troublesome things to name. If you give one of them a fanciful name, it will always refuse to live up to it it will always persist in not resembling the thing it has been named for.
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