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I admire him, I frankly confess it and when his time is come I shall buy a piece of the rope for a keepsake.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Time
Confess
Rope
Frankly
Admire
Piece
Pieces
Shall
Come
Keepsakes

More quotes by Mark Twain

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There are people who think that honesty is always the best policy. This is a superstition. There are times when the appearance of it is worth six of it.
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A man who keeps company with glaciers comes to feel tolerably insignificiant by and by. The Alps and the glaciers together are able to take every bit of conceit out of a man and reduce his self-importance to zero if he will only remain within the influence of their sublime presence long enough to give it a fair and reasonable chance to do its work.
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Sometimes you gwyne to git hurt, en sometimes you gwyne to git sick but every time you's gwyne to git well agin.
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It makes one hope and believe that a day will come when, in the eye of the law, literary property will be as sacred as whiskey, or any other of the necessaries of life. It grieves me to think how far more profound and reverent a respect the law would have for literature if a body could only get drunk on it.
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I do not allow my schooling to interfere with my education
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I will remark in the way of general information, that in California, that land of felicitous nomenclature, the literary name of this sort of stuff is hogwash
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Nothing incites to money-crimes like great poverty or great wealth.
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Every man has a secret ambition: To outsmart horses, fish and women.
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I have achieved my seventy years in the usual way: by sticking strictly to a scheme of life which would kill anybody else... I will offer here, as a sound maxim, this: That we can't reach old age by another man's road.
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Whose property is my body? Probably mine. I so regard it. If I experiment with it, who must be answerable? I, not the State. If I choose injudiciously, does the state die? Oh, no.
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Tomorrow night I appear for the first time before a Boston audience - 4000 critics.
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There is only one good sex. The female one.
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As a rule, we go about with masks, we go about looking honest, and we are able to conceal ourselves all through the day.
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Tom appeared on the sidewalk with a bucket of whitewash and a long-handled brush. He surveyed the fence, and all gladness left him and a deep melancholy settled down upon his spirit. Thirty yards of board fence nine feet high. Life to him seemed hollow, and existence but a burden.
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In the real world, nothing happens at the right place at the right time. It is the job of journalists and historians to correct that.
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When I want to read something nice, I sit down and write it myself.
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I like criticism, but it must be my way.
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I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.
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The smallest minds and the selfishest souls and the cowardliest hearts that God makes.
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There are many humorous things in the world among them, the white man's notion that he is less savage than the other savages.
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