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I admire him, I frankly confess it and when his time is come I shall buy a piece of the rope for a keepsake.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Shall
Come
Keepsakes
Time
Confess
Rope
Frankly
Admire
Piece
Pieces

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The community is eminently Portuguese - that is to say, it is slow, poor, shiftless, sleepy, and lazy.
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A mine is a hole in the ground with a liar on top.
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What is the chief end of man?-to get rich. In what way?-dishonestly if we can honestly if we must. Who is God, the one and only true? Money is God. Gold and Greenbacks and Stock-father, son, and ghosts of same, three persons in one These are the true and only God, mighty and supreme.
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Figures often beguile me, particularly when I have the arranging of them myself in which case the remark attributed to Disraeli would often apply with justice and force: There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.
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Experience comes from bad judgment.
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None of us can be as great as God, but any of us can be as good.
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Newport, Rhode Island, that breeding place-that stud farm, so to speak-of aristocracy aristocracy of the American type.
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But it was ever thus, all through my life: whenever I have diverged from custom and principle and uttered a truth, the rule has been that the hearer hadn't strength of mind enough to believe it.
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If you want to change the future, you must change what you're doing in the present.
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I never made a success of a lecture delivered in a church yet. People are afraid to laugh in a church. They can't be made to do it in any possible way.
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Don't dream your life, but live your dream
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The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.
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Dates are hard to remember because they consist of figures figures are monotonously unstriking in appearance, and they don't take hold, they form no pictures, and so they give the eye no chance to help. Pictures are the thing. Pictures can make dates stick.
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The Creator made Italy from designs by Michelangelo.
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Whiskey is for drinking water is for fighting over.
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I heard a Californian student in Heidelberg say, in one of his calmest moods, that he would rather decline two drinks than one German adjective.
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It is not what a man knows, but what he thinks of in time.
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In all the ages, three-fourths of the support of the great charities has been conscience money.
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There is nothing to be learned from the second kick of a mule.
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Authorship is not a trade, it is an inspiration authorship does not keep an office, its habitation is all out under the sky, and everywhere the winds are blowing and the sun is shining and the creatures of God are free.
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