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But it warn't no time to be sentimentering.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Warn
Time

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Religion consists in a set of things which the average man thinks he believes and wishes he was certain of.
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His money is twice tainted: taint yours and taint mine.
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I have been on the verge of being an angel all my life, but it's never happened yet.
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Don't just sit there and worry. Be proactive. Do something - anything - about what's worrying you so you can gain information, focus and control over the situation. I've suffered a great many catastrophes in my life. Most of them never happened.
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The sole impulse which dictates and compels a man's every act: the imperious necessity of securing his own approval, in every emergency and at all costs.... It is our only spur, our whip, our goad, our impelling power we have no other.
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Which is him? The grammar was faulty, maybe, but we could not know, then, that it would go in a book someday.
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The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.
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Honor is a harder master than the law.
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The political and commercial morals of the United States are not merely food for laughter, they are an entire banquet.
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Obscurity and a competence—that is the life that is best worth living.
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We laugh and laugh. Then cry and cry- Then feebler laugh, Then die.
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We write frankly and freely, but then we modify before we print.
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Adam was but human—this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple's sake, he wanted it only because it was forbidden. The mistake was in not forbidding the serpent then he would have eaten the serpent.
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If the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Everything comes there ten years later.
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A good lawyer knows the law a clever one takes the judge to lunch.
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I don't know anything about this man. Anyhow, I only know two things about him. One is, he has never been in jail, and the other is, I don't know why.
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The face of the water, in time, became a wonderful book- a book that was a dead language to the uneducated passenger, but which told its mind to me without reserve, delivering its most cherished secrets as clearly as if it uttered them with a voice. And it was not a book to be read once and thrown aside, for it had a new story to tell every day.
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There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce.
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Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat.
Mark Twain
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Vote: The only commodity that is peddleable without a license.
Mark Twain