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We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world and it's efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don't know anything and can't read-
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
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Science Fiction Writer
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Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
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Jury
Every
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World
Judging
Twelve
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Criminals
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Marred
More quotes by Mark Twain
I couldn't bear to think about it and yet, somehow, I couldn't think about nothing else.
Mark Twain
I never felt so fervently thankful, so soothed, so tranquil, so filled with the blessed peace, as I did yesterday when I learned that Michael Angelo was dead.
Mark Twain
Armor is heavy, yet it is a proud burden, and a man standeth straight in it.
Mark Twain
Education is what you must acquire without any interference from your schooling.
Mark Twain
The humorous story is American, the comic story is English, the witty story is French. The humorous story depends for its effect upon the manner of the tellingthe comic and the witty story upon the matter.
Mark Twain
As for the dinosaur - But Noah's conscience was easy it was not named in his cargo list and he and the boys were not aware that there was such a creature. He said he could not blame himself for not knowing about the dinosaur, because it was an American animal and America had not then been discovered.
Mark Twain
Explaining humor is a lot like dissecting a frog, you learn a lot in the process, but in the end you kill it.
Mark Twain
The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.
Mark Twain
Kings cannot ennoble thee, thou good, great soul, for One who is higher than kings hath done that for thee but a king can confirm thy nobility to men.
Mark Twain
All good things arrive unto them that wait - and don't die in the meantime.
Mark Twain
What's the use you learning to do right , when it's troublesome to do right and it ain't no trouble to do wrong, and the wages is just the same?
Mark Twain
The only certainties in life are death and taxes.
Mark Twain
A person that started in to carry a cat home by the tail was gitting knowledge that was always going to be useful to him, and warn't ever going to grow dim or doubtful.
Mark Twain
When grown-up persons indulge in practical jokes, the fact gauges them. They have lived narrow, obscure, and ignorant lives, and at full manhood they still retain and cherish a job lot of left-over standards and ideals that would have been discarded with their boyhood if they had then moved out into the world and a broader life.
Mark Twain
Out of the unconscious lips of babes and sucklings are we satirized.
Mark Twain
I always take Scotch whiskey at night as a preventive of toothache. I have never had the toothache and what is more, I never intend to have it.
Mark Twain
To be satisfied with what one has that is wealth.
Mark Twain
School gets in the way of my learning.
Mark Twain
All schools, all colleges have two great functions: to confer, and to conceal valuable knowledge.
Mark Twain
You can't reason with your heart it has its own laws, and thumps about things which the intellect scorns.
Mark Twain
