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We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world and it's efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don't know anything and can't read-

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Anything
Findings
Jury
Every
Finding
Efficiency
Men
Difficulty
Criminal
World
Judging
Twelve
Humor
Superior
System
Superiors
Read
Criminals
Funny
Humorous
Marred

More quotes by Mark Twain

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The first time a student realizes that a little learning is a dangerous thing is when he brings home a poor report card.
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The exercise of an extraordinary gift is the supremest pleasure in life.
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When one reads Bibles, one is less surprised at what the Deity knows than at what He doesn't know.
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Every civilization carries the seeds of its own destruction, and the same cycle shows in them all. The Republic is born, flourishes, decays into plutocracy, and is captured by the shoemaker whom the mercenaries and millionaires make into a king. The people invent their oppressors, and the oppressors serve the function for which they are invented.
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The face of the water, in time, became a wonderful book- a book that was a dead language to the uneducated passenger, but which told its mind to me without reserve, delivering its most cherished secrets as clearly as if it uttered them with a voice. And it was not a book to be read once and thrown aside, for it had a new story to tell every day.
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I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
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We Americans worship the almighty dollar! Well, it is a worthier god than Heredity Privilege.
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The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and starting on the first one.
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I never felt so fervently thankful, so soothed, so tranquil, so filled with the blessed peace, as I did yesterday when I learned that Michael Angelo was dead.
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A pessimist is a well-informed optimist.
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We are always too busy for our children we never give them the time or interest they deserve. We lavish gifts upon them but the most precious gift, our personal association, which means so much to them, we give grudgingly.
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Each nation knowing it has the only true religion and the only sane system of government, each despising all the others, each an ass and not suspecting it.
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I never write metropolis for seven cents when I can write city and get paid the same.
Mark Twain
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Whiskey is for drinking water is for fighting over.
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No man that has ever lived has done a thing to please God--primarily. It was done to please himself, then God next.
Mark Twain
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Frankness is a jewel only the young can afford it.
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Man seems to be a rickety poor sort of thing, any way you take him a kind of British Museum of infirmities and inferiorities. He is always undergoing repairs. A machine that was as unreliable as he is would have no market.
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The lightning there is peculiar it is so convincing, that when it strikes a thing it doesn't leave enough of that thing behind for you to tell whether-Well, you'd think it was something valuable, and a Congressman had been there.
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Wherefore being all of one mind, we do highly resolve that government of the grafted by the grafter for the grafter shall not perish from the earth.
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To be good is noble but to show others how to be good is nobler and no trouble.
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