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Never let the truth get in the way of a good story.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Truth
Way
Good
Never
Boardwalks
Choppers
Witty
Story
Stories

More quotes by Mark Twain

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A gentleman is someone who knows how to play the banjo and doesn't.
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Forget and forgive. This is not difficult when properly understood.
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Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.
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Let us consider that we are all insane. It will explain us to each other. It will unriddle many riddles
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Ignorant people think it is the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so it is the sickening grammar that they use.
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We grant God the possession of all the qualities of mind except the one that keeps the others healthy that watches over their dignity that focuses their vision true--humor.
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A man who carries a cat by the tail is getting experience that will always be helpful. He isn't likely to grow dim or doubtful. Chances are, he isn't likely to carry the cat that way again, either. But if he wants to, I say let him!
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My sister...was an interested and zealous invalid during sixty-five years, tried all the new diseases as fast as they came out, and always enjoyed the newest one more than any that went before my brother had accumulated forty-two brands of Christianity before he was called away.
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We Americans worship the almighty dollar! Well, it is a worthier god than Heredity Privilege.
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Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from making bad decisions.
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I always take Scotch whiskey at night as a preventive of toothache. I have never had the toothache and what is more, I never intend to have it.
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The piano may do for love-sick girls who lace themselves to skeletons, and lunch on chalk, pickles and slate pencils, but give me the banjo.
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The lie, as a virtue, a principle, is eternal the lie, as a recreation, a solace, a refuge in time of need, the fourth Grace, the tenth Muse, man's best and surest friend is immortal
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A conspiracy is nothing but a secret agreement of a number of men for the pursuance of policies which they dare not admit in public
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I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.
Mark Twain
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Sometimes you gwyne to git hurt, en sometimes you gwyne to git sick but every time you's gwyne to git well agin.
Mark Twain
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The more you explain it, the more I don't understand it.
Mark Twain
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Always obey your parents - when they are present.
Mark Twain
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Don't go to sleep, so many people die there.
Mark Twain
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....try the mustard, - a man can't know what turnips are in perfection without mustard.
Mark Twain