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Some people get an education without going to college. The rest get it after they get out.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
College
Rest
Education
Without
Going
People
More quotes by Mark Twain
Who knows, he may grow up to be President someday, unless they hang him first! Aunt Polly about Tom Sawyer
Mark Twain
Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion - several of them.
Mark Twain
It is hard enough luck being a monarch, without being a target also.
Mark Twain
Patriotism is merely a religion-love of country, worship of country, devotion to the country's flag and honor and welfare.
Mark Twain
It is strange the way the ignorant and inexperienced so often and so undeservedly succeed when the informed and the experienced fail.
Mark Twain
I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie I can, but I won't.
Mark Twain
If to be interesting is to be uncommonplace, it is becoming a question, with me, if there are any commonplace people
Mark Twain
Ignorant people think it is the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so it is the sickening grammar that they use.
Mark Twain
In the real world, nothing happens at the right place at the right time. It is the job of journalists and historians to correct that.
Mark Twain
....try the mustard, - a man can't know what turnips are in perfection without mustard.
Mark Twain
I like a good story well told. That is the reason I am sometimes forced to tell them myself.
Mark Twain
In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.
Mark Twain
There are things which some people never attempt during their whole lives, but one of these is not poetry. Poetry attacks all human beings sooner or later, and, like the measles, is mild or violent according to the age of the sufferer.
Mark Twain
What God lacks is convictions- stability of character. He ought to be a Presbyterian or a Catholic or something- not try to be everything.
Mark Twain
He wa'n't no common dog, he wa'n't no mongrel he was a composite. A composite dog is a dog that is made up of all the valuable qualities that's in the dog breed-kind of a syndicate and a mongrel is made up of all riffraff that's left over.
Mark Twain
Once I talked to the inmates of an insane asylum in Hartford. I have talked to idiots a thousand times, but only once to the insane.
Mark Twain
There is this trouble about special providences namely, there is so often a doubt as to which party was intended to be the beneficiary. In the case of the children, the bears, and the prophet, the bears got more real satisfaction out of the episode than the prophet did, because they got the children.
Mark Twain
It must be well-nigh a maximum of sense to behave so that one escapes being hanged.
Mark Twain
The cigar-box which the European calls a 'lift' needs but to be compared with our elevators to be appreciated. The lift stops to reflect between floors. That is all right in a hearse, but not in elevators. The American elevator acts like a man's patent purge-it works.
Mark Twain
I respect a man who knows how to spell a word more than one way.
Mark Twain
