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The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Learn
Inspirational
Love
Life
Pet
Like
Sarcastic
People
Witty
Dog
Animal

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I've dealt with many crises in my life, but few will ever happen.
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Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
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Talking of patriotism, what humbug it is it is a word which always commemorates a robbery.
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Honest poverty is a gem that even a king might be proud to call his own - but I wish to sell out
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The minute we get reconciled to a person, how willing we are to throw aside little needless punctilios and pronounce his name right.
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Yesterday, everybody smoked his last cigar, took his last drink and swore his last oath. Today, we are a pious and exemplary community. Thirty days from now, we shall have cast our reformation to the winds and gone to cutting our ancient shortcomings considerably shorter than ever.
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Nothing so focuses the mind as the prospect of being hanged.
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By trampling upon the helpless abroad with unchecked surveillance, Americans have learned, by a natural process, to endure with apathy the like at home.
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I wish I could make him understand that a loving good heart is riches enough, and that without it intellect is poverty.
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To be, or not to be that is the bare bodkin That makes calamity of so long life.
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The difference between a Miracle and a Fact is exactly the difference between a mermaid and a seal.
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If ever you've been down in the dumps, hear these iconic authors share with you more than their writing wisdom.
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One is apt to overestimate beauty when it is rare
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So far as I am able to judge, nothing has been left undone, either by man or nature, to make India the most extraordinary country that the sun visits on his rounds. Nothing seems to have been forgotten, nothing overlooked.
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Inherited ideas are a curious thing, and interesting to observe and examine.
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Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.
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The Bible is a wonderful book you can prove anything you want with it.
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A half-truth is the most cowardly of lies.
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College is a place where a professor's lecture notes go straight to the students' lecture notes, without passing through the brains of either.
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Humor is man's greatest blessing.
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