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The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Dog
Animal
Learn
Inspirational
Love
Life
Pet
Like
Sarcastic
People
Witty
More quotes by Mark Twain
There are those who scoff at the schoolboy, calling him frivolous and shallow: Yet it was the schoolboy who said 'Faith is believing what you know ain't so'.
Mark Twain
Human beings are the only creatures who blush - or who need to.
Mark Twain
Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate.
Mark Twain
Your friends may love you in private but your enemies will hate you in public.
Mark Twain
Anyone who can only think of one way to spell a word obviously lacks imagination.
Mark Twain
They do say that when a man starts down hill everybody is ready to help him with a kick, and I suppose it is so.
Mark Twain
Never argue with people who buy ink by the gallon.
Mark Twain
I was born with Halley's Comet and I expect to die upon its return
Mark Twain
I am not given to exaggeration, and when I say a thing I mean it.
Mark Twain
This autobiography of mine is a mirror, and I am looking at myself in it all the time. Incidentally I notice the people that pass along at my back - I get glimpses of them in the mirror - and whenever they say or do anything that can help advertise me and flatter me and raise me in my own estimation, I set these things down in my autobiography.
Mark Twain
A man with a hump-backed uncle mustn't make fun of another man's cross-eyed aunt
Mark Twain
Pity is for the living, envy is for the dead. Death, the refuge, the solace, the best and kindliest and most prized friend and benefactor of the erring, the forsaken, the old and weary and broken of heart.
Mark Twain
If a spectacle is going to be particularly imposing I prefer to see it through somebody else's eyes, because that man will always exaggerate. Then I can exaggerate his exaggeration, and my account of the thing will be the most impressive.
Mark Twain
The common eye sees only the outside of things, and judges by that, but the seeing eye pierces through and reads the heart and the soul, finding there capacities which the outside didn't indicate or promise, and which the other kind of eye couldn't detect.
Mark Twain
Imagine, if you will, that I am an idiot. Then, imagine that I am also a Congressman. But, alas, I repeat myself.
Mark Twain
I've come loaded with statistics, for I've noticed that a man can't prove anything without statistics. No man can.
Mark Twain
Eternal rest sounds comforting in the pulpit well, you try it once, and see how heavy time will hang on your hands.
Mark Twain
How stunning are the changes which age makes in a man while he sleeps!
Mark Twain
When a person is accustomed to one hundred and thirty-eight in the shade, his ideas about cold weather are not valuable.
Mark Twain
Dates are hard to remember because they consist of figures figures are monotonously unstriking in appearance, and they don't take hold, they form no pictures, and so they give the eye no chance to help. Pictures are the thing. Pictures can make dates stick.
Mark Twain
