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I have seen slower people than I am and more deliberate... and even quieter, and more listless, and lazier people than I am. But they were dead.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Dying
Sarcasm
Dead
Laziness
Seen
Deliberate
Lazier
Funny
Sarcastic
Listless
Persons
Irony
Quieter
Self
Lazy
Slowness
Even
Personality
Deliberation
People
Quiet
Slower

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Life becomes fully understandable only the moment we realise that we are all mad.
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If I were going to construct a God I would furnish him with some ways and qualities and characteristics which the Present One lacks... He would spend some of His eternities in trying to forgive Himself for making man unhappy when He could have made him happy with the same effort and He would spend the rest of them in studying astronomy.
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The Mississippi River will always have its own way no engineering skill can persuade it to do otherwise.
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Such is luck! And such the treatment which honest, good perservance gets so often at the hands of unfair and malicious Nature!
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It is a shameful thing to insult a child.
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Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain't that a big enough majority in any town?
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We never knew an ignorant person yet but was prejudiced.
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All gentle cant and philosophizing to the contrary notwithstanding, no people in this world ever did achieve their freedom by goody-goody talk and moral suasion: it being immutable law that all revolutions that will succeed, must begin in blood.
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First catch your Boer, then kick him.
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We all live in the protection of certain cowardices which we call our principles.
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Often a quite assified remark becomes sanctified by use and petrified by custom it is then a permanency, its term of activity a geologic period.
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Half of the results of a good intentions are evil half the results of an evil intention are good.
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Each of you, for himself, by himself and on his own responsibility, must speak.
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The Creator made Italy from designs by Michelangelo.
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The reason most people don't go to church is because they've already been.
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Habit is habit, and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed down-stairs one step at a time.
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He had the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.
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