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I have seen slower people than I am and more deliberate... and even quieter, and more listless, and lazier people than I am. But they were dead.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Persons
Irony
Quieter
Self
Lazy
Slowness
Even
Personality
Deliberation
People
Quiet
Slower
Dying
Sarcasm
Dead
Laziness
Seen
Deliberate
Lazier
Funny
Sarcastic
Listless

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It is a pity we can't escape from life when we are young.
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A little starvation can really do more for the average sick man than can the best medicines and the best doctors.
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All my life I have been honest-comparatively honest. I could never use money I had not made honestly-I could only lend it.
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If I cannot smoke in heaven, then I shall not go.
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Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.
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Being rich ain't what it's cracked up to be. It's just worry and worry, and sweat and sweat, and a-wishing you was dead all the time.
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If the desire to kill and the opportunity to kill came always together, who would escape hanging?
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No man that has ever lived has done a thing to please God--primarily. It was done to please himself, then God next.
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I am not interested to know whether vivisection produces results that are profitable to the human race or doesn't...The pain which it inflicts upon unconsenting animals is the basis of my enmity toward it, and it is to me sufficient justification of the enmity without looking further.
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Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates.
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I can always tell which is the front end of a horse, but beyond that, my art is not above the ordinary.
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Don't wait the time is never just right.
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Travel is lethal to prejudice.
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Some of us cannot be optimists, but all of us can be bigamists
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Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late.
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A person that started in to carry a cat home by the tail was gitting knowledge that was always going to be useful to him, and warn't ever going to grow dim or doubtful.
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The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.
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Adam was but human—this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple's sake, he wanted it only because it was forbidden. The mistake was in not forbidding the serpent then he would have eaten the serpent.
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Go and surprise the whole country by doing something right.
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There are some natures which never grow large enough to speak out and say a bad act is a bad act, until they have inquired into the politics or the nationality of the man who did it.
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