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I have seen slower people than I am and more deliberate... and even quieter, and more listless, and lazier people than I am. But they were dead.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Seen
Deliberate
Lazier
Funny
Sarcastic
Listless
Persons
Irony
Quieter
Self
Lazy
Slowness
Even
Personality
Deliberation
People
Quiet
Slower
Dying
Sarcasm
Dead
Laziness

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Man is without doubt the most interesting fool there is. He concedes that God made the angels immune from pain and death, and that he could have been similarly kind to man, but denies that he was under any moral obligation to do so.
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That is a society editor, sitting there elegantly dressed, with his legs crossed in that indolent way, observing the clothes the ladies wear, so that he can describe them for his paper and make them out finer than they are and get bribes for it and become wealthy.
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I was standing in our dining-room thinking of nothing in particular, when a cablegram was put into my hand. It said, 'Susy was peacefully released today.' It is one of the mysteries of our nature that a man, all unprepared, can receive a thunder-stroke like that and live.
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Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.
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What's the use you learning to do right , when it's troublesome to do right and it ain't no trouble to do wrong, and the wages is just the same?
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You perceive I generalize with intrepidity from single instances. It is the tourist's custom.
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Wheresoever she was, there was Eden.
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If I'd seen a playwright ever write an' play at the same time, I'd have given 'em more of a chance at cards. Can I get an 'amen?'
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Some civilized women would lose half their charm without dress and some would lose all of it.
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France has neither winter, nor summer, nor morals. France is miserable because it is filled with Frenchmen, and Frenchmen are miserable because they live in France.
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Principles aren't of much account anyway, except at election time. After that you hang them up to let them season.
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The sole impulse which dictates and compels a man's every act: the imperious necessity of securing his own approval, in every emergency and at all costs.... It is our only spur, our whip, our goad, our impelling power we have no other.
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A sense of humor is the one thing no one will admit to not having.
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By law of periodical repetition, everything which has happened once must happen again and again -- and not capriciously, but at regular periods, and each thing in its own period, not another's and each obeying its own law.
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I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know.
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Experience of life (not of books) is the only capital usable in such a book as you have attempted one can make no judicious use of this capital while it is new.
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The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.
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The thing for us to do is just to do our duty, and not worry about whether anybody sees us do it or not.
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