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I have seen slower people than I am and more deliberate... and even quieter, and more listless, and lazier people than I am. But they were dead.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Persons
Irony
Quieter
Self
Lazy
Slowness
Even
Personality
Deliberation
People
Quiet
Slower
Dying
Sarcasm
Dead
Laziness
Seen
Deliberate
Lazier
Funny
Sarcastic
Listless

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Human beings are the only creatures who blush - or who need to.
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Sometimes you gwyne to git hurt, en sometimes you gwyne to git sick but every time you's gwyne to git well agin.
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To be, or not to be that is the bare bodkin That makes calamity of so long life.
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...heaven for climate, and hell for society.
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One must travel, to learn. Every day, now, old Scriptural phrases that never possessed any significance for me before, take to themselves a meaning.
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Tough times teach trust.
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While the rest of the species is descended from apes, redheads are descended from cats.
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Now he found out a new thing--namely, that to promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing.
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Italy is the home of art and swindling home of religion and moral rottenness
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I will remark in the way of general information, that in California, that land of felicitous nomenclature, the literary name of this sort of stuff is hogwash
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Marriage -- yes, it is the supreme felicity of life. I concede it. And it is also the supreme tragedy of life. The deeper the love the surer the tragedy. And the more disconsolating when it comes.
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when the human race is not grotesque it is because it is asleep and losing its opportunity.
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It is a time when one's spirit is subdued and sad, one knows not why when the past seems a storm-swept desolation, life a vanity and a burden, and the future but a way to death.
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Really, what we want now, is not laws against crime, but a law against insanity. That is where the true evil lies.
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In the real world, nothing happens at the right place at the right time. It is the job of journalists and historians to correct that.
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I have spent most of my life worrying about things that have never happened.
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The law is a system that protects everybody who can afford to hire a good lawyer.
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There is not an acre of ground on the globe that is in possession of its rightful owner, or that has not been taken away from owner after owner, cycle afer cycle, by force and bloodshed.
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God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.
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Some people get an education without going to college. The rest get it after they get out.
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